When I began this posting thread, I really thought I had a whole week of fun, friend-filled activities to write about. Honestly, I did. But, now...well...I can't for the life of me remember if I did anything on Thursday. It is possible that the previous days were so full and the weekend was so packed with rehearsals for our Christmas Celebration at church, that I just took a night off and went to bed early. It is also possible that Wednesday night was so much fun that I blacked out for two days. Lastly, it is equally possible that I did something really fun with a really great friend and, due to my advanced age and early on-set dementia, I simply forgot what we did. If that is the case, it is very sad for me for at least two reasons: 1. I will be down one very precious friend. and 2. I may soon be wearing adult diapers.
Either way...it would stink.
I didn't mean for that to be a pun. I just didn't want to say "suck". I say that too much.
Anyhoo...Wednesday.
This night was set aside for my dear friend Julie. She is an amazingly talented musician and all-around extraordinary person. I want to be like her when I grow up, which is quite something to say because she is half my age.
Yeah...she's that awesome and mature and all that. Seriously, compared to her I'm like a 12 year old with ADD.
I'm not kidding.
So...um...Julie came over for dinner and a movie. We decided to watch Elf because, for some inexplicable reason, she'd never seen it. (Truly that is the only strike against her.)
I prepared a lovely dinner of soup and salad and was looking forward to a nice quiet evening with my friend Julie. But, just as we sat down to eat, my sister -in-law called. She needed a box spring that was in my shed. So she stopped by and we hauled it to her car...in the dark, narrowly escaping being concussed by my window unit. Then, after Julie and I got back to our meal and started having what can only be called sparkling dinner conversation, my friend Yves stopped by.
He does that sometimes.
I'm technically a grown-up and have some things he needs sometimes, like: a printer, cable and food.
Now, my friend Yves...well, he's different. He's African. Like, really African. He is from the Congo, but...um...he also grew up in Belgium, so he speaks French. He is also opinionated and, because he is not American, his perspective is often very different. Oh, and he also wears really cool outfits.
He is also fun and smart and challenging and godly and likes to have deep, meaningful conversations about controversial things...which isn't exactly sparkling dinner conversation. In fact, its a bit of an aquired taste. I don't think Julie enjoyed it as much as I did. But, she smiled and took part anyway.
She's cool like that.
Yves watched most of the movie with us...and by watched, I mean surfed the internet. He went home before the movie was over and left Julie and I alone to enjoy the comedic stylings of Will Ferrell in tights. Then, Julie went home to go night-night. I was liking the idea of night-night myself, but, then...the phone rang.
It was Yves. He was visiting with two of his friends and they wanted to come over, so I turned the lights back on, put my bra back on and waited for them to arrive. The rest of the night was, in a word: interesting. One of Yves friends was an atheist ex-con who spent his incarceration studying physics and also spent time in a psych ward. Oh, and he likes to be really upfront, abrupt and honest from the get-go as he despises superficial chit chat.
Shocker, right?
In all seriousness, it was a really great night...all of it: interruptions, unexpected guests and even the lack of sleep. Well, maybe not so much the lack of sleep part, but it was still a lot of fun!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
A Week of Visits: Tuesday
I love baking. I just do. For me, it is right up there with laughing and singing and picture taking and really awesome dreams with musical numbers or I have the ability to fly.
On Tuesday, I invited myself over to my friend Lisa's house to bake homemade cinnamon rolls. Originally, we were going to make this recipe, but...well, it takes a long time and we were meeting in the evening, so...I looked up another, quicker, recipe online. I won't link to it because it wasn't good. In fact, I think the person who posted that recipe never had a cinnamon roll in their lives. They were probably raised by wild animals, or at the very least...Yankees.
Anyhoo...
The plan was to photo document our baking experience and then I would blog about it in all its fabulous and delicious glory. We decided to each take a turn at making a batch, that way we would have some to take home and share with others.
Since my friend Lisa was hosting us, she went first. Things started off well, but...
they soon took a turn for the messy.
Yeah...um...Lisa's kind of fell apart. We tried to bake it anyway thinking it would come out like a big cinnamon bread or something, but we thought wrong. Instead, it started dripping off the sides of the pan and made a big mess in her stove.
(Sorry, Lisa!)
Her sister-in-law, Steph, was next.
We tried to learn from what may have been mistakes in the first batch.
And her's came out a bit better than Lisa's.
Next was my turn. Mine didn't come out much better than Steph's. None of them had the right texture to them. They sorta seemed like soft, round, scones. But we sure did have a great time. My only regret is that Lisa had to spend 2/3rds of our time washing dishes.
And, it was her birthday and everything!
On Tuesday, I invited myself over to my friend Lisa's house to bake homemade cinnamon rolls. Originally, we were going to make this recipe, but...well, it takes a long time and we were meeting in the evening, so...I looked up another, quicker, recipe online. I won't link to it because it wasn't good. In fact, I think the person who posted that recipe never had a cinnamon roll in their lives. They were probably raised by wild animals, or at the very least...Yankees.
Anyhoo...
The plan was to photo document our baking experience and then I would blog about it in all its fabulous and delicious glory. We decided to each take a turn at making a batch, that way we would have some to take home and share with others.
Since my friend Lisa was hosting us, she went first. Things started off well, but...
they soon took a turn for the messy.
Yeah...um...Lisa's kind of fell apart. We tried to bake it anyway thinking it would come out like a big cinnamon bread or something, but we thought wrong. Instead, it started dripping off the sides of the pan and made a big mess in her stove.
(Sorry, Lisa!)
Her sister-in-law, Steph, was next.
We tried to learn from what may have been mistakes in the first batch.
And her's came out a bit better than Lisa's.
Next was my turn. Mine didn't come out much better than Steph's. None of them had the right texture to them. They sorta seemed like soft, round, scones. But we sure did have a great time. My only regret is that Lisa had to spend 2/3rds of our time washing dishes.
And, it was her birthday and everything!
I think we learned some valuable lessons that night, though. First...cinnamon rolls that won't roll don't make good bread. Second, sometimes, baking is fun regardless of the results. And, finally, flops help maintain our girlish figures. :)
A Week of Visits: Monday
About 5 years ago, I boarded a bus at 1am with about 50 other singles. We were headed to Louisville, Kentucky for a conference that would be life changing for me. I would also leave the conference with a new friend.
The bus ride there was, in a word, torturous. Though I got to sit next to the girl that would become my friend, and be my roomie during the trip, her company alone wasn't enough to make up for the craziness going on behind me. From the time we left home until about dawn, the person behind us was a constant source of noise and irriation. First, she was on her cell phone the entire time. Second, she packed all of her belongings in styrofoam containers and plastic bags...and dug in them while talking loudly on the phone. It was the equivalent of Charlie Brown's teacher talking to Fran Drescher while simultaneously running their nails on a chalkboard...for SIX hours!
SIX hours!
I'm not exaggerating.
Little did I know, or in that moment care that my new friend was having a struggle of her own. Her soon-to-be fiance was sitting next to another woman, talking and enjoying himself. She wanted him to be sitting next to her, but due to the overnight nature of the trip, thought it best if they did not. Hearing him chatting and laughing with someone else was difficult for my friend. Had I not been so wrapped up with chatty polystyrene girl, and the guy I wished was sitting next to me, I could have done more to distract and encourage her.
Thankfully, though, my new friend didn't hold my selfishness against me, and less than a year later I joyfully cried at her wedding.
She and her husband are now expecting their third child.
From the moment I met my friend, she as been an encouragement to me. She is one of the calmest people I know. And, regardless of my state, she never fails to find a way to empathize with me and point me to the Lord. I also have a tendency to talk a lot, but she never seems to grow tired of me.
There must be something profoundly wrong with her...or profoundly right.
Finally, she got married shortly before her 35th birthday. I am 36. My mind keeps telling me my chances at marriage were over at 28...but my friend shows me that with God all things are possible. His faithfulness to answer prayer has no time limits.
All these years later, I am both grateful and amazed that we even became friends in the first plce. That night on the bus, I was an obsessive, angry, impatient, depressed, selfish mess...and yet she extended friendship to me...and continues to do so.
I don't get it, but I am thankful.
She and her family were the first guests in my week of visits. They arrived shortly after dinner time. When kids are involved, there isn't much room for adult conversation, so I had a great time watching her adorable, hilarious babies run around and play and laugh and do "ta da" (their newest special trick with their daddy).
It was wonderful.
Their kids are two of the most joyful babies I've ever seen. My favorite thing is when they get excited and run around screaming. It's great! Loud, but great!
I just love this family and feel so blessed to have them in my lives.
The bus ride there was, in a word, torturous. Though I got to sit next to the girl that would become my friend, and be my roomie during the trip, her company alone wasn't enough to make up for the craziness going on behind me. From the time we left home until about dawn, the person behind us was a constant source of noise and irriation. First, she was on her cell phone the entire time. Second, she packed all of her belongings in styrofoam containers and plastic bags...and dug in them while talking loudly on the phone. It was the equivalent of Charlie Brown's teacher talking to Fran Drescher while simultaneously running their nails on a chalkboard...for SIX hours!
SIX hours!
I'm not exaggerating.
Little did I know, or in that moment care that my new friend was having a struggle of her own. Her soon-to-be fiance was sitting next to another woman, talking and enjoying himself. She wanted him to be sitting next to her, but due to the overnight nature of the trip, thought it best if they did not. Hearing him chatting and laughing with someone else was difficult for my friend. Had I not been so wrapped up with chatty polystyrene girl, and the guy I wished was sitting next to me, I could have done more to distract and encourage her.
Thankfully, though, my new friend didn't hold my selfishness against me, and less than a year later I joyfully cried at her wedding.
She and her husband are now expecting their third child.
From the moment I met my friend, she as been an encouragement to me. She is one of the calmest people I know. And, regardless of my state, she never fails to find a way to empathize with me and point me to the Lord. I also have a tendency to talk a lot, but she never seems to grow tired of me.
There must be something profoundly wrong with her...or profoundly right.
Finally, she got married shortly before her 35th birthday. I am 36. My mind keeps telling me my chances at marriage were over at 28...but my friend shows me that with God all things are possible. His faithfulness to answer prayer has no time limits.
All these years later, I am both grateful and amazed that we even became friends in the first plce. That night on the bus, I was an obsessive, angry, impatient, depressed, selfish mess...and yet she extended friendship to me...and continues to do so.
I don't get it, but I am thankful.
She and her family were the first guests in my week of visits. They arrived shortly after dinner time. When kids are involved, there isn't much room for adult conversation, so I had a great time watching her adorable, hilarious babies run around and play and laugh and do "ta da" (their newest special trick with their daddy).
It was wonderful.
Their kids are two of the most joyful babies I've ever seen. My favorite thing is when they get excited and run around screaming. It's great! Loud, but great!
I just love this family and feel so blessed to have them in my lives.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Quick Catch-up...and Family Pictures.
There has been a lot going on. My church had our annual Christmas choir presentation which required a lot of rehearsing, I booked a week of visits with friends I've been wanting to spend more time with, and then there is all of the usual holiday hoopla. Oh...and my oldest niece, a.k.a. "the Princess" turned six. SIX!
More on that later...
More on that later...
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were good. Since we were all together, we were finally able to do something we've been trying to do for a very long time...take family pictures. I took them via remote shutter release. I didn't like it. I lost a good deal of creative control over the shots I really wanted to get. But, them came out mostly clear, and mostly with everyone looking at the camera and mostly smiling. I did get one shot that I love of my middle brother and his wife, though...so it wasn't a total loss. :)
Here are a few of the better ones:
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Universal Truths, part 3
It is a truth universally accepted, or at least proven, that one can be too thin, too rich, too young, and have too much time on their hands, but can never have too many friends.
Especially when they are really good friends!
Especially when they are really good friends!
Universal Truths, part 2
It is a truth universally accepted that if you talk to cashiers like they are actually people and not human-looking cash registers, you'll get great service...and a smile.
Well...it may not be universally accepted...but it should be.
Seriously, the next time you are in the check out line, remember that the person ringing you up is actually a person. Look at them. Smile. Speak. And when you do, make it something nice.
It works!
Well...it may not be universally accepted...but it should be.
Seriously, the next time you are in the check out line, remember that the person ringing you up is actually a person. Look at them. Smile. Speak. And when you do, make it something nice.
It works!
Universal Truths, part 1
It is a truth universally accepted that a beautiful girl can, with very little effort, turn an otherwise intelligent man into an idiot.
I think the same truth applies to girls and hot guys, too...but I don't have as much evidence to support that theory. ;)
I think the same truth applies to girls and hot guys, too...but I don't have as much evidence to support that theory. ;)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Not just words...
There are a few issues in my life that are just huge. Monstrous, even. When those monsters are poked, it makes it hard to see anything else, or feel anything other than fear, hopelessness, and despair. In those moments, my knee-jerk response is to flee...or give up...or find some way to alleviate or numb the feelings I listed below. But, as a Christian, there is always a "but God" at the end of any such thought. So, I am afraid...but God would have me hear Him say "The Lord, is in your midst...Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God." To my hopelessness he says "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." And when I am in despair, he says "The Lord your God is in your midst...Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage. He will come and save you.”
These are not just words. They are truth. They are life. They are a very present help in time of need.
There are times, surely, when God's word does seem like "just words" to us, though, isn't there? Times when that monster of an issue is looming large and blocking out any other sounds or sights or thoughts...and anything we do hear or see or think is quickly overpowered by this hulking, ugly, thing before us. I had one such moment just this morning, when I turned to my refuge for help and found "just words"...and walked away still in turmoil.
But God...
He would have us persist. To continue going to Him, continue calling upon His word, speaking it to ourselves and trusting that, in His faithfulness, it will be the strength, the comfort, the balm our soul needs. His word will not return void. It will stop being "just words" and instead speak peace and strength and joy to our souls. And that He will come and save.
These are not just words. They are truth. They are life. They are a very present help in time of need.
There are times, surely, when God's word does seem like "just words" to us, though, isn't there? Times when that monster of an issue is looming large and blocking out any other sounds or sights or thoughts...and anything we do hear or see or think is quickly overpowered by this hulking, ugly, thing before us. I had one such moment just this morning, when I turned to my refuge for help and found "just words"...and walked away still in turmoil.
But God...
He would have us persist. To continue going to Him, continue calling upon His word, speaking it to ourselves and trusting that, in His faithfulness, it will be the strength, the comfort, the balm our soul needs. His word will not return void. It will stop being "just words" and instead speak peace and strength and joy to our souls. And that He will come and save.
Not just words...
There are a few issues in my life that are just huge. Monstrous, even. When those monsters are poked, it makes it hard to see anything else, or feel anything other than fear, hopelessness, and despair. In those moments, my knee-jerk response is to flee...or give up...or find some way to alleviate or numb the feelings I listed below. But, as a Christian, there is always a "but God" at the end of any such thought. So, I am afraid...but God would have me hear Him say "The Lord, is in your midst...Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God." To my hopelessness he says "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." And when I am in despair, he says "The Lord your God is in your midst...Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage. He will come and save you.”
These are not just words. They are truth. They are life. They are a very present help in time of need.
There are times, surely, when God's word does seem like "just words" to us, though, isn't there? Times when that monster of an issue is looming large and blocking out any other sounds or sights or thoughts...and anything we do hear or see or think is quickly overpowered by this hulking, ugly, thing before us. I had one such moment just this morning, when I turned to my refuge for help and found "just words"...and walked away still in turmoil.
But God...
He would have us persist. To continue going to Him, continue calling upon His word, speaking it to ourselves and trusting that, in His faithfulness, it will be the strength, the comfort, the balm our soul needs. His word will not return void. It will stop being "just words" and instead speak peace and strength and joy to our souls. And that He will come and save.
These are not just words. They are truth. They are life. They are a very present help in time of need.
There are times, surely, when God's word does seem like "just words" to us, though, isn't there? Times when that monster of an issue is looming large and blocking out any other sounds or sights or thoughts...and anything we do hear or see or think is quickly overpowered by this hulking, ugly, thing before us. I had one such moment just this morning, when I turned to my refuge for help and found "just words"...and walked away still in turmoil.
But God...
He would have us persist. To continue going to Him, continue calling upon His word, speaking it to ourselves and trusting that, in His faithfulness, it will be the strength, the comfort, the balm our soul needs. His word will not return void. It will stop being "just words" and instead speak peace and strength and joy to our souls. And that He will come and save.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
It's snowing...in New Orleans of all places!!
It snowed for about 3 hours here this morning.
Unbelievable!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I *heart* Christmas decorations
Every year, it goes about the same...sometime around the beginning of October, I start thinking about decorating for Christmas. I can't help it really! It's the media's fault. It seems they start pushing Christmas stuff around the same time they start pushing Halloween stuff. Since I don't do Halloween, and feel silly decorating for Thanksgiving...all I'm left with is Christmas. Visions of shimmery ornaments and twinkle lights dance in my head for almost 2 full months before I'm even able to pull out the tree and decorate to the soothing sounds of Bing Crosby's Merry Christmas album.Another thing that happens every year is this: I buy more decorations. It doesn't matter that I have 4 large totes full and have given away approximately 5 different sets of Christmas tree accoutrement, 3 wreaths and 2 trees. I still buy more every year. And this year, even though I bought more and gave more away...I am "this close" to going out and buying a whole new set of decorations!
It's all my friend Lisa's fault. She hosted our small group holiday party this week and had some beautiful decorations. Our color schemes were the same, but her decorations were richer looking and she used cranberries! I loved it. Then I saw a cranberry and pomegranate wreath and fell in love and instantly wanted to re-do my entire home using that theme! Oh, and, of course a little gold!
It's a sickness I tell ya! But who can blame me when there are so many beautiful ways to make our homes shiney and bright and warm and inviting for visitors at this glorious time of the year?!?!
To be continued will happen soon...I promise. :)
For those who have been checking back to see the "To be continued" that was promised at the end of the last post...it will happen soon. I've just been all up into photography and photo editing and such for the past week and just haven't had the spare time to put the next installment together.
Until then, please feel free to enjoy the last couple of photo posts on my other blog.
:)
Until then, please feel free to enjoy the last couple of photo posts on my other blog.
:)
To be continued will happen soon...I promise. :)
For those who have been checking back to see the "To be continued" that was promised at the end of the last post...it will happen soon. I've just been all up into photography and photo editing and such for the past week and just haven't had the spare time to put the next installment together.
Until then, please feel free to enjoy the last couple of photo posts on my other blog.
:)
Until then, please feel free to enjoy the last couple of photo posts on my other blog.
:)
Monday, December 8, 2008
I just love this couple!
Meet two of my favorite people on the planet! Chris & Lisa.About a year or so ago, I was fortunate enough to strike up a friendship with them. We were in the same small group and I just decided that Lisa was going to be my friend...whether she liked it or not. I'd actually decided that a few years earlier, I just didn't have the opportunity to force her to be my friend...I mean, befriend her, until about a year ago.
I joined their small group a few weeks before they were to be married. On my 3rd visit, we had a shower for them where they shared their individual testimonies and the story of their relationship up to that point. It was so sweet.
Since then, I've had the privildege of getting to know them better and seeing them grow as a married couple, and become one as God intended. Their maturity, godliness and love for each other have been a real blessing to me. Plus...they are just. so. cute!
So, because they are two of my favorite people on the planet, when I was thinking about people I wanted to play photographer with, they were very near the top of my list!
We met on Saturday and headed out to City Park. I am just so pleased with the results...and had such a blast with them!
Here are a few of my favorites...
Saturday in the Park...
I had so much fun taking pictures of some of my friends and their families this weekend! Oh my! I could totally do this every day!! But, today, I am stuck inside...in an office...reading through resumes and thinking about insurance policies. Oh well, at least I have some pretty pictures to look at and relive fun times!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The start of something new?
In August of 2005, everything changed. Hurricane Katrina destroyed everything connected to my life; I lived as a gypsy for 3 months; I ate my first Dorito in 2 years; and I bought a digital camera.
My life would never be the same!
Since that time, my interest in photography has just increased. I became the official family photographer. I opened a flickr account and have over 80 albums on Facebook. I also recently purchased my first digital SLR camera.
If I thought I loved taking pictures before, Canon Rebel took it to a whole 'nother level!
Today, I am off to the park, and will spend most of the day taking pictures. This morning, I'm taking my nieces (and Canon) to feed the ducks. This afternoon, I am going to be shooting for 2 cute families and, possibly, one of my favorite young couples.
I'm very excited and very nervous. In my head, I have all these ideas for shots and can see the finished pictures...but...what if I can't pull it off? What if none of the pictures turn out? What if the kids refuse to smile? What if I fall in a pond trying to get that perfect shot? What if this is the beginning of a new phase in life and a new career path? Or what if I just fail miserably?
Only God knows. So, here I go...stepping out into the unknown with Canon by my side.
Please, Lord, let us all at least have fun!
Stay tuned...
My life would never be the same!
Since that time, my interest in photography has just increased. I became the official family photographer. I opened a flickr account and have over 80 albums on Facebook. I also recently purchased my first digital SLR camera.
If I thought I loved taking pictures before, Canon Rebel took it to a whole 'nother level!
Today, I am off to the park, and will spend most of the day taking pictures. This morning, I'm taking my nieces (and Canon) to feed the ducks. This afternoon, I am going to be shooting for 2 cute families and, possibly, one of my favorite young couples.
I'm very excited and very nervous. In my head, I have all these ideas for shots and can see the finished pictures...but...what if I can't pull it off? What if none of the pictures turn out? What if the kids refuse to smile? What if I fall in a pond trying to get that perfect shot? What if this is the beginning of a new phase in life and a new career path? Or what if I just fail miserably?
Only God knows. So, here I go...stepping out into the unknown with Canon by my side.
Please, Lord, let us all at least have fun!
Stay tuned...
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Keepin' it real...Part 2.
When it comes to weight-loss, there are two things I am afraid of:
1. Gaining it all back.
2. Excess skin.
For these reasons, and the desire to truly repent of (or turn from) gluttony for good, certain "quick fix" or radical yet fast methods just are not an option for me. I know a few people, personally, who have done the shakes, taken the pills, or had the surgery and are happy with their result. However, I also know a few who gained the weight back and had pretty severe and unexpected side-effects. On top of all of those reasons and concerns, rapid weight loss on someone my size will generally mean excess skin. Depending on the severity, looking "normal" after weight loss could require surgery...or just never wearing shortsleeves again.
Regardless, whenever I think about weight-loss plans, I quickly decide that a quick-fix (though appealing on account of the quick part) is just not for me.
I've been over weight for over half my life and I know I can't undo all that damage, all those habits and motives and reflexive responses overnight...or even over a month or a year. Certainly, God can...and to me, if I'm going to rely on something external to force change upon me I want that something to be God. I want that change to be real and complete and permanent. No one and no-thing besides Him can promise that.
And, that is why, all these months as I've been struggling with gluttony and all of the emotions that go along with it...I resisted my knee-jerk response to just make a plan and make it happen.
On the surface, that may sound like a cop-out or just plain lazy or even like a license to remain in sin. It wasn't. First, I believe that whatever does not proceed from faith is sin...and for me to just grab the bull by the horns, so to speak would have exhibited faith in no one but myself. Second...I had no faith in myself. I got into the mess I was in precisely because I Can't Do This on my own. Finally, I know that my issue with food is sin, and the only one with power over sin is God. He needed to come in, change me...my heart, my thoughts, my desires, my want to's...and give me what I needed to overcome. Without that, no matter what I tried, I would crash and burn.
So, I waited. Sometimes, I cried out in agony, begging God for help. Other times, I prayed and confessed that I had no faith, or that I really just wanted nachos or that it would be awesome if He could just instantly make it all better or make it easy or make me thin.
I try to keep it real with the Lord, too. ;)
And, after a few low-points, some key teachings at church and more consistent prayer...He answered. I broke spiritually in response to God's call to give Him my all...again. I left that encounter different, hopeful, ready for whatever God had for me!
Then, later that night, I broke down again over my frosty...
(To Be Continued.)
1. Gaining it all back.
2. Excess skin.
For these reasons, and the desire to truly repent of (or turn from) gluttony for good, certain "quick fix" or radical yet fast methods just are not an option for me. I know a few people, personally, who have done the shakes, taken the pills, or had the surgery and are happy with their result. However, I also know a few who gained the weight back and had pretty severe and unexpected side-effects. On top of all of those reasons and concerns, rapid weight loss on someone my size will generally mean excess skin. Depending on the severity, looking "normal" after weight loss could require surgery...or just never wearing shortsleeves again.
Regardless, whenever I think about weight-loss plans, I quickly decide that a quick-fix (though appealing on account of the quick part) is just not for me.
I've been over weight for over half my life and I know I can't undo all that damage, all those habits and motives and reflexive responses overnight...or even over a month or a year. Certainly, God can...and to me, if I'm going to rely on something external to force change upon me I want that something to be God. I want that change to be real and complete and permanent. No one and no-thing besides Him can promise that.
And, that is why, all these months as I've been struggling with gluttony and all of the emotions that go along with it...I resisted my knee-jerk response to just make a plan and make it happen.
On the surface, that may sound like a cop-out or just plain lazy or even like a license to remain in sin. It wasn't. First, I believe that whatever does not proceed from faith is sin...and for me to just grab the bull by the horns, so to speak would have exhibited faith in no one but myself. Second...I had no faith in myself. I got into the mess I was in precisely because I Can't Do This on my own. Finally, I know that my issue with food is sin, and the only one with power over sin is God. He needed to come in, change me...my heart, my thoughts, my desires, my want to's...and give me what I needed to overcome. Without that, no matter what I tried, I would crash and burn.
So, I waited. Sometimes, I cried out in agony, begging God for help. Other times, I prayed and confessed that I had no faith, or that I really just wanted nachos or that it would be awesome if He could just instantly make it all better or make it easy or make me thin.
I try to keep it real with the Lord, too. ;)
And, after a few low-points, some key teachings at church and more consistent prayer...He answered. I broke spiritually in response to God's call to give Him my all...again. I left that encounter different, hopeful, ready for whatever God had for me!
Then, later that night, I broke down again over my frosty...
(To Be Continued.)
Keepin' it real...Part 2.
When it comes to weight-loss, there are two things I am afraid of:
1. Gaining it all back.
2. Excess skin.
For these reasons, and the desire to truly repent of (or turn from) gluttony for good, certain "quick fix" or radical yet fast methods just are not an option for me. I know a few people, personally, who have done the shakes, taken the pills, or had the surgery and are happy with their result. However, I also know a few who gained the weight back and had pretty severe and unexpected side-effects. On top of all of those reasons and concerns, rapid weight loss on someone my size will generally mean excess skin. Depending on the severity, looking "normal" after weight loss could require surgery...or just never wearing shortsleeves again.
Regardless, whenever I think about weight-loss plans, I quickly decide that a quick-fix (though appealing on account of the quick part) is just not for me.
I've been over weight for over half my life and I know I can't undo all that damage, all those habits and motives and reflexive responses overnight...or even over a month or a year. Certainly, God can...and to me, if I'm going to rely on something external to force change upon me I want that something to be God. I want that change to be real and complete and permanent. No one and no-thing besides Him can promise that.
And, that is why, all these months as I've been struggling with gluttony and all of the emotions that go along with it...I resisted my knee-jerk response to just make a plan and make it happen.
On the surface, that may sound like a cop-out or just plain lazy or even like a license to remain in sin. It wasn't. First, I believe that whatever does not proceed from faith is sin...and for me to just grab the bull by the horns, so to speak would have exhibited faith in no one but myself. Second...I had no faith in myself. I got into the mess I was in precisely because I Can't Do This on my own. Finally, I know that my issue with food is sin, and the only one with power over sin is God. He needed to come in, change me...my heart, my thoughts, my desires, my want to's...and give me what I needed to overcome. Without that, no matter what I tried, I would crash and burn.
So, I waited. Sometimes, I cried out in agony, begging God for help. Other times, I prayed and confessed that I had no faith, or that I really just wanted nachos or that it would be awesome if He could just instantly make it all better or make it easy or make me thin.
I try to keep it real with the Lord, too. ;)
And, after a few low-points, some key teachings at church and more consistent prayer...He answered. I broke spiritually in response to God's call to give Him my all...again. I left that encounter different, hopeful, ready for whatever God had for me!
Then, later that night, I broke down again over my frosty...
(To Be Continued.)
1. Gaining it all back.
2. Excess skin.
For these reasons, and the desire to truly repent of (or turn from) gluttony for good, certain "quick fix" or radical yet fast methods just are not an option for me. I know a few people, personally, who have done the shakes, taken the pills, or had the surgery and are happy with their result. However, I also know a few who gained the weight back and had pretty severe and unexpected side-effects. On top of all of those reasons and concerns, rapid weight loss on someone my size will generally mean excess skin. Depending on the severity, looking "normal" after weight loss could require surgery...or just never wearing shortsleeves again.
Regardless, whenever I think about weight-loss plans, I quickly decide that a quick-fix (though appealing on account of the quick part) is just not for me.
I've been over weight for over half my life and I know I can't undo all that damage, all those habits and motives and reflexive responses overnight...or even over a month or a year. Certainly, God can...and to me, if I'm going to rely on something external to force change upon me I want that something to be God. I want that change to be real and complete and permanent. No one and no-thing besides Him can promise that.
And, that is why, all these months as I've been struggling with gluttony and all of the emotions that go along with it...I resisted my knee-jerk response to just make a plan and make it happen.
On the surface, that may sound like a cop-out or just plain lazy or even like a license to remain in sin. It wasn't. First, I believe that whatever does not proceed from faith is sin...and for me to just grab the bull by the horns, so to speak would have exhibited faith in no one but myself. Second...I had no faith in myself. I got into the mess I was in precisely because I Can't Do This on my own. Finally, I know that my issue with food is sin, and the only one with power over sin is God. He needed to come in, change me...my heart, my thoughts, my desires, my want to's...and give me what I needed to overcome. Without that, no matter what I tried, I would crash and burn.
So, I waited. Sometimes, I cried out in agony, begging God for help. Other times, I prayed and confessed that I had no faith, or that I really just wanted nachos or that it would be awesome if He could just instantly make it all better or make it easy or make me thin.
I try to keep it real with the Lord, too. ;)
And, after a few low-points, some key teachings at church and more consistent prayer...He answered. I broke spiritually in response to God's call to give Him my all...again. I left that encounter different, hopeful, ready for whatever God had for me!
Then, later that night, I broke down again over my frosty...
(To Be Continued.)
Keepin' it real...
In my last post, I alluded to a "rough patch". That description is an understatement. I could spend a lot of time bemoaning all of the reasons for this "rough patch" and try to garner your sympathy and somehow justify my response, but, the truth is neither has a place here. My response was sinful, and as Mr. Spurgeon reminded me yesterday I should have nothing to do with sin.
I am thankful for this new clarity of vision and thought, because honestly, up until a week or so ago things were really muddy...and surrounded by food, mostly.
The eye-opening moment for me was one day last week when I was finishing "dinner", which consisted of: 3 pieces of fried chicken, a small mashed potatoes, a large red beans & rice, a biscuit, large french fries, and a large frosty.
Hey...I didn't title this post "Keepin' it real" for nothing!
I scarfed what could have been dinner for about 3 people down in front of the TV, then, somewhere around the middle of my frosty, I broke down crying.
"What am I doing?"
"Am I really back there again?" ("There" being how I ate before the Lord changed my eating habits in 2004.)
The answer was "yes"...and "no".
Yes, this meal was very similar to what had once been a standard dinner for me. But, prior to 2004, I never broke down after diving into the pool of gluttony with reckless abandon.
So, what changed?
In 2004, I turned a corner, or so I thought. I started this blog to chronicle the work God was doing and the victory He was working in me. At the time, I (perhaps arrogantly) thought that God would use it to encourage others who struggled with gluttony, and perhaps steer them away from solutions that do not involve repentance and dependance on Him. I, pridefully, believed that because the way God was leading me was better than, say, pills or surgery or starvation that I was guaranteed success and my story wouldn't be like all those I had previously read on-line: thin gluttons, folks who cut out half their stomach yet still sinned with food, people who looked different outwardly but were the same inwardly. I didn't want that and I was certain I would be different.
For a while, this was actually true. I was different. The fruit of change was evident in pretty much every area of my life. The discipline God wrought in me regarding food spilled over into my bible study, my prayer life, my interaction with family, how I kept my home, how I handled my finances, even my thought life. On top of all of that, over time I lost about 100 pounds.
Then, slowly, gradually, one deceptive compromise after another I found myself crying over a frosty...50 lbs heavier...and feeling like I'd undone every victory God had won for me.
But God...
(To Be Continued)
I am thankful for this new clarity of vision and thought, because honestly, up until a week or so ago things were really muddy...and surrounded by food, mostly.
The eye-opening moment for me was one day last week when I was finishing "dinner", which consisted of: 3 pieces of fried chicken, a small mashed potatoes, a large red beans & rice, a biscuit, large french fries, and a large frosty.
Hey...I didn't title this post "Keepin' it real" for nothing!
I scarfed what could have been dinner for about 3 people down in front of the TV, then, somewhere around the middle of my frosty, I broke down crying.
"What am I doing?"
"Am I really back there again?" ("There" being how I ate before the Lord changed my eating habits in 2004.)
The answer was "yes"...and "no".
Yes, this meal was very similar to what had once been a standard dinner for me. But, prior to 2004, I never broke down after diving into the pool of gluttony with reckless abandon.
So, what changed?
In 2004, I turned a corner, or so I thought. I started this blog to chronicle the work God was doing and the victory He was working in me. At the time, I (perhaps arrogantly) thought that God would use it to encourage others who struggled with gluttony, and perhaps steer them away from solutions that do not involve repentance and dependance on Him. I, pridefully, believed that because the way God was leading me was better than, say, pills or surgery or starvation that I was guaranteed success and my story wouldn't be like all those I had previously read on-line: thin gluttons, folks who cut out half their stomach yet still sinned with food, people who looked different outwardly but were the same inwardly. I didn't want that and I was certain I would be different.
For a while, this was actually true. I was different. The fruit of change was evident in pretty much every area of my life. The discipline God wrought in me regarding food spilled over into my bible study, my prayer life, my interaction with family, how I kept my home, how I handled my finances, even my thought life. On top of all of that, over time I lost about 100 pounds.
Then, slowly, gradually, one deceptive compromise after another I found myself crying over a frosty...50 lbs heavier...and feeling like I'd undone every victory God had won for me.
But God...
(To Be Continued)
Keepin' it real...
In my last post, I alluded to a "rough patch". That description is an understatement. I could spend a lot of time bemoaning all of the reasons for this "rough patch" and try to garner your sympathy and somehow justify my response, but, the truth is neither has a place here. My response was sinful, and as Mr. Spurgeon reminded me yesterday I should have nothing to do with sin.
I am thankful for this new clarity of vision and thought, because honestly, up until a week or so ago things were really muddy...and surrounded by food, mostly.
The eye-opening moment for me was one day last week when I was finishing "dinner", which consisted of: 3 pieces of fried chicken, a small mashed potatoes, a large red beans & rice, a biscuit, large french fries, and a large frosty.
Hey...I didn't title this post "Keepin' it real" for nothing!
I scarfed what could have been dinner for about 3 people down in front of the TV, then, somewhere around the middle of my frosty, I broke down crying.
"What am I doing?"
"Am I really back there again?" ("There" being how I ate before the Lord changed my eating habits in 2004.)
The answer was "yes"...and "no".
Yes, this meal was very similar to what had once been a standard dinner for me. But, prior to 2004, I never broke down after diving into the pool of gluttony with reckless abandon.
So, what changed?
In 2004, I turned a corner, or so I thought. I started this blog to chronicle the work God was doing and the victory He was working in me. At the time, I (perhaps arrogantly) thought that God would use it to encourage others who struggled with gluttony, and perhaps steer them away from solutions that do not involve repentance and dependance on Him. I, pridefully, believed that because the way God was leading me was better than, say, pills or surgery or starvation that I was guaranteed success and my story wouldn't be like all those I had previously read on-line: thin gluttons, folks who cut out half their stomach yet still sinned with food, people who looked different outwardly but were the same inwardly. I didn't want that and I was certain I would be different.
For a while, this was actually true. I was different. The fruit of change was evident in pretty much every area of my life. The discipline God wrought in me regarding food spilled over into my bible study, my prayer life, my interaction with family, how I kept my home, how I handled my finances, even my thought life. On top of all of that, over time I lost about 100 pounds.
Then, slowly, gradually, one deceptive compromise after another I found myself crying over a frosty...50 lbs heavier...and feeling like I'd undone every victory God had won for me.
But God...
(To Be Continued)
I am thankful for this new clarity of vision and thought, because honestly, up until a week or so ago things were really muddy...and surrounded by food, mostly.
The eye-opening moment for me was one day last week when I was finishing "dinner", which consisted of: 3 pieces of fried chicken, a small mashed potatoes, a large red beans & rice, a biscuit, large french fries, and a large frosty.
Hey...I didn't title this post "Keepin' it real" for nothing!
I scarfed what could have been dinner for about 3 people down in front of the TV, then, somewhere around the middle of my frosty, I broke down crying.
"What am I doing?"
"Am I really back there again?" ("There" being how I ate before the Lord changed my eating habits in 2004.)
The answer was "yes"...and "no".
Yes, this meal was very similar to what had once been a standard dinner for me. But, prior to 2004, I never broke down after diving into the pool of gluttony with reckless abandon.
So, what changed?
In 2004, I turned a corner, or so I thought. I started this blog to chronicle the work God was doing and the victory He was working in me. At the time, I (perhaps arrogantly) thought that God would use it to encourage others who struggled with gluttony, and perhaps steer them away from solutions that do not involve repentance and dependance on Him. I, pridefully, believed that because the way God was leading me was better than, say, pills or surgery or starvation that I was guaranteed success and my story wouldn't be like all those I had previously read on-line: thin gluttons, folks who cut out half their stomach yet still sinned with food, people who looked different outwardly but were the same inwardly. I didn't want that and I was certain I would be different.
For a while, this was actually true. I was different. The fruit of change was evident in pretty much every area of my life. The discipline God wrought in me regarding food spilled over into my bible study, my prayer life, my interaction with family, how I kept my home, how I handled my finances, even my thought life. On top of all of that, over time I lost about 100 pounds.
Then, slowly, gradually, one deceptive compromise after another I found myself crying over a frosty...50 lbs heavier...and feeling like I'd undone every victory God had won for me.
But God...
(To Be Continued)
No longer silent...
“I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause.” “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”—Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.—Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.—Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you...I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy...
God is a speaking God, a pursuing God, a loving God, an active God and a victorious God. He tells us to come to Him, just as we are, and find help and healing and transformation. His promise is that we will be like Him...we will be changed from glory to glory. In Him, we can and will overcome that which is overcoming us.
This week, by His grace and the enabling of His spirit, I took him up on this promise. I stopped wallowing in hopeless silence and sinful salve that only added pain and cried out to God for help.
And, He answered...
I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. (From Daily Light)
No longer silent...
“I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause.” “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”—Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.—Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.—Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you...I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy...
God is a speaking God, a pursuing God, a loving God, an active God and a victorious God. He tells us to come to Him, just as we are, and find help and healing and transformation. His promise is that we will be like Him...we will be changed from glory to glory. In Him, we can and will overcome that which is overcoming us.
This week, by His grace and the enabling of His spirit, I took him up on this promise. I stopped wallowing in hopeless silence and sinful salve that only added pain and cried out to God for help.
And, He answered...
I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. (From Daily Light)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
"Christian, what hast thou to do with sin?"
Christian, what hast thou to do with sin? Hath it not cost thee enough already? Burnt child, wilt thou play with the fire? What! when thou hast already been between the jaws of the lion, wilt thou step a second time into his den?Hast thou not had enough of the old serpent? Did he not poison all thy veins once, and wilt thou play upon the hole of the asp, and put thy hand upon the cockatrice’s den a second time? Oh, be not so mad! so foolish!
Did sin ever yield thee real pleasure? Didst thou find solid satisfaction in it? If so, go back to thine old drudgery, and wear the chain again, if it delight thee. But inasmuch as sin did never give thee what it promised to bestow, but deluded thee with lies, be not a second time snared by the old fowler— be free, and let the remembrance of thy ancient bondage forbid thee to enter the net again!It is contrary to the designs of eternal love, which all have an eye to thy purity and holiness; therefore run not counter to the purposes of thy Lord. Another thought should restrain thee from sin. Christians can never sin cheaply; they pay a heavy price for iniquity.
Transgression destroys peace of mind, obscures fellowship with Jesus, hinders prayer, brings darkness over the soul; therefore be not the serf and bondman of sin.There is yet a higher argument: each time you “serve sin” you have “Crucified the Lord afresh, and put him to an open shame.” Can you bear that thought? Oh! if you have fallen into any special sin during this day, it may be my Master has sent this admonition this evening, to bring you back before you have backslidden very far. Turn thee to Jesus anew; he has not forgotten his love to thee; his grace is still the same. With weeping and repentance, come thou to his footstool, and thou shalt be once more received into his heart; thou shalt be set upon a rock again, and thy goings shall be established. - from Charles Spurgeon
HT: By Every Word...
"Christian, what hast thou to do with sin?"
Christian, what hast thou to do with sin? Hath it not cost thee enough already? Burnt child, wilt thou play with the fire? What! when thou hast already been between the jaws of the lion, wilt thou step a second time into his den?Hast thou not had enough of the old serpent? Did he not poison all thy veins once, and wilt thou play upon the hole of the asp, and put thy hand upon the cockatrice’s den a second time? Oh, be not so mad! so foolish!
Did sin ever yield thee real pleasure? Didst thou find solid satisfaction in it? If so, go back to thine old drudgery, and wear the chain again, if it delight thee. But inasmuch as sin did never give thee what it promised to bestow, but deluded thee with lies, be not a second time snared by the old fowler— be free, and let the remembrance of thy ancient bondage forbid thee to enter the net again!It is contrary to the designs of eternal love, which all have an eye to thy purity and holiness; therefore run not counter to the purposes of thy Lord. Another thought should restrain thee from sin. Christians can never sin cheaply; they pay a heavy price for iniquity.
Transgression destroys peace of mind, obscures fellowship with Jesus, hinders prayer, brings darkness over the soul; therefore be not the serf and bondman of sin.There is yet a higher argument: each time you “serve sin” you have “Crucified the Lord afresh, and put him to an open shame.” Can you bear that thought? Oh! if you have fallen into any special sin during this day, it may be my Master has sent this admonition this evening, to bring you back before you have backslidden very far. Turn thee to Jesus anew; he has not forgotten his love to thee; his grace is still the same. With weeping and repentance, come thou to his footstool, and thou shalt be once more received into his heart; thou shalt be set upon a rock again, and thy goings shall be established. - from Charles Spurgeon
HT: By Every Word...
What's in a name?
Yesterday, I boarded the elevator in my office building and noticed something I've never noticed before. On one of the walls of the elevator is an inspection certificate. Now, I've noticed that before, I've also noticed when the guys turn it upside down just for fun. (They really need to get out more!) But what I didn't notice prior to yesterday was the name of the man who inspected our elevator.
His name: Carlos Zimmerman.
Upon reading this name my mind was filled with several funny mental pictures...and laughter.
I pictured a tall, tan Mexican man who says "oy" and "kvetches" a lot; a short jewish man serving me the perfect plate of chimichangas and his own special recipe bean dip; and a little boy in short pants and a yarmulke with his parents Ira and Consuela.
Wherever you are today, Carlos Zimmerman, I hope you are well! Thank you for inspecting our elevator and thank you for brightening an otherwise dull Wednesday morning. Oh, and say "Hola!" to Ira and Consuelita for me, will ya? ;)
His name: Carlos Zimmerman.
Upon reading this name my mind was filled with several funny mental pictures...and laughter.
I pictured a tall, tan Mexican man who says "oy" and "kvetches" a lot; a short jewish man serving me the perfect plate of chimichangas and his own special recipe bean dip; and a little boy in short pants and a yarmulke with his parents Ira and Consuela.
Wherever you are today, Carlos Zimmerman, I hope you are well! Thank you for inspecting our elevator and thank you for brightening an otherwise dull Wednesday morning. Oh, and say "Hola!" to Ira and Consuelita for me, will ya? ;)
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