Fear not Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great...And he believed the Lord and it was counted to him as righteousness. (Genesis 15:1,6)
I think there are times in every believer's life when we are called to forsake what seems good and right to us in order to have God's best for us. Often times, that best isn't readily apparent. Often times, it is a fight to see any good at all coming from our loss. We must stand on faith. He promises to work all things together for our good and to make all loss gain, and this is more true than any thought or emotion we may have. He also promises that He is our advocate, our intercessor, our defender and our shield.
Yesterday, I felt the comfort of that shield more powerfully and tangibly than I ever have in my life. I was called upon to forsake what I saw as a very good thing - my friendship with a wonderful, godly man - in the hope of God's best for me. My affection for my friend, and my desire to be more, had caused a great deal of emotional conflict and confusion. My heart and head were full of him and this distraction had begun to have a negative effect on my life and walk. I saw sin cropping up where it had not been, I cried a lot, I began absent-mindedly running red lights...I knew something had to give. Nothing and no one is worth hindering my relationship with the Lord...or dying in a traffic accident! After counsel from leadership at my church and much prayer and wrestling, I decided it was time to come clean with my friend about my feelings and end the friendship.
During my prayer and wrestling, I was filled with dread. I couldn't think about being rejected or never hearing from him again without sobbing. I knew he would be kind and that the decision to end our friendship would not be his recommendation...that wasn't what caused the emotion, it was the loss. I didn't want to lose this treasure, yet I didn't want to trample upon the Grace of God in my life simply to keep what I wanted, either. So, I obeyed, expressed my heart and the Lord kept anxiety away. Then, I braced for the pain of his response. When it came, my chest throbbed, tears fell, the hurt was real, but it was not overwhelming or devastating. I expected to fall apart, dissolve into a puddle of sobs, but I didn't. I was wounded, but not mortally so...I was ok.
I was amazed.
So when I read the verse above this morning, I couldn't help but put my own name in it: Fear not [Tina], I am your shield; your reward shall be very great...And [she] believed the Lord and it was counted to [her] as righteousness. (Genesis 15:1,6)
Believing the Lord that He is working out His best for me, though it involves loss and pain, is where I stand. His shield about me yesterday was His seal, His proof to me that I am right where He has called me to be. Nothing has changed. All is as it should be. His plan is still His plan and still playing out. This friendship was a problem for me, but Corrie Ten Boom says:God has no problems,only plans. When ours are interrupted, his are not. His plans are proceeding exactly as scheduled, moving us always (including those minutes or hours or years which seem most useless or wasted or unendurable) 'toward the goal of true maturity' (Rom 12:2 JBP). Believing God that this is truth is the first step to that maturity...and whatever else His plan holds for me.
I can't see a thing. When I try to envision where the road will lead now that this door has closed, I see barren desert wastes. But He says the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. I am choosing to believe what He, my shield, says rather than what I see. His promise, His hope is my shield as I wait for my faith to become sight.
Until then, I walk, one unvieled step at a time, believing God, seeking His purpose, seeking to honor Him, trusting in His steadfast love. He says that none of His plans will fail, His purposes will be accomplished and that He will give me the desires of my heart. I think yesterday He saw that more than anything else, the desire of my heart is to walk closely with Him in fellowship, unbroken by selfishness or striving or sin. I pray that He is honored and pleased in that, though it has come with some pain and grief. I think he is. I think this loss was a way for Him to show me what the desires of my heart really are...and I am comforted to see that truth.
I could have chosen to hang on, hoping in a man, getting what I could from the friendship, enjoying whatever attention this man gave me, but by God's grace I didn't. I chose to forsake what was good for what is best. A Pastor friend told me "this was not only the right thing to do, it was the righteous thing to do." And in so doing - in the losing - God both revealed to me and gave me the desire of my heart...and a shield besides.
You have given him his hearts desire and have not withheld the request of his lips! Selah...you make him glad with the joy of your presence. For the King trusts in the Lord and through the steadfast love of the Most High he shall not be moved. (Psalm 21:2,7)
The fears of death and of the grave
Are whelmed beneath the sea
And every heart, now light and brave
May face the things to be. --Frederick Von Hardenberg
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
My stuff = His stuff
Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy." (1 Peter 1:13-15)
For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:23)
I would never say that I have the Gift of Faith, but I certainly do believe I am better able to pray and act in faith on behalf of others than I am for myself. When I am made aware of a friend's need, no matter how dark, how upsetting, how impossible, I am able to say "But God...!!!" In those moments, His truth fills my heart and rolls off my tongue freely. Though I may be grieved, emotional, even afraid for my friend, I can still be filled with hope and have great expectations of our great God.
But when it comes to me...to my stuff...my response isn't nearly as expectant and faith-filled.
My stuff tends to feel much bigger and more in my face, even overwhelming ... and, did I mention that it's mine? The burden I carry then isn't just an empathetic, emotional one. The threat of real loss and pain looms large, and all of my senses and faculties are trained upon that circumstance or issue or person...oh, and how I can avoid loss and pain. In this state, rather than feeling filled with hope and expectancy, I am often fearful, anxious, even sad.
That is how I felt last night. I'd fought it off all day and distracted myself with work, but once that was gone and all was quiet in my car, the emotion and tears come.
But God!
I am so thankful that He regards us in our pitiable estate and has mercy on our sinful and deceitful hearts! No matter what I think or feel or even do, He is faithful to show me that He is near, He is true, He is faithful and that He still speaks to His people today. So, though the evening ended in tears with a side of despair, His mercy was new this morning...
What I believe the Lord showed me is that He is the same God always and that I can have the same expectancy and faith for "my" stuff because, really, my stuff is still someone else's stuff.
My stuff is HIS stuff.
My issues are His deal. He can give me the "distance" I need to pray in faith and rejoice in the hope of what He will do because He is always standing between me and whatever problem or circumstance or issue that comes my way. When I see that, my perspective is right and I can have the same peace, the same hope, the same faith, I have when I pray for my friends because HE is the same God and His promises are equally true, whether I am praying for a friend or praying for me.
So, Big, In My Face, Somewhat Saddening Things...But God! The faithful God who keeps covenant with His own, who promises that He will never leave us or forsake us; who promises to work all things together for good, who promises to withhold no good thing, who promises to do exceedingly, abundantly, beyond all we can even think or ask; and who promises that none of His good promises shall fail , is here! We can't see Him all the time but He says He is upholding us with His righteous right hand and that His everlasting arms are beneath us and promises to make our steps sure. This God who spoke the world into existence and sustains it by the power of His word, is for us! Our stuff is His stuff. So let's rejoice in that and watch the working of His power!
For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:23)
I would never say that I have the Gift of Faith, but I certainly do believe I am better able to pray and act in faith on behalf of others than I am for myself. When I am made aware of a friend's need, no matter how dark, how upsetting, how impossible, I am able to say "But God...!!!" In those moments, His truth fills my heart and rolls off my tongue freely. Though I may be grieved, emotional, even afraid for my friend, I can still be filled with hope and have great expectations of our great God.
But when it comes to me...to my stuff...my response isn't nearly as expectant and faith-filled.
My stuff tends to feel much bigger and more in my face, even overwhelming ... and, did I mention that it's mine? The burden I carry then isn't just an empathetic, emotional one. The threat of real loss and pain looms large, and all of my senses and faculties are trained upon that circumstance or issue or person...oh, and how I can avoid loss and pain. In this state, rather than feeling filled with hope and expectancy, I am often fearful, anxious, even sad.
That is how I felt last night. I'd fought it off all day and distracted myself with work, but once that was gone and all was quiet in my car, the emotion and tears come.
But God!
I am so thankful that He regards us in our pitiable estate and has mercy on our sinful and deceitful hearts! No matter what I think or feel or even do, He is faithful to show me that He is near, He is true, He is faithful and that He still speaks to His people today. So, though the evening ended in tears with a side of despair, His mercy was new this morning...
What I believe the Lord showed me is that He is the same God always and that I can have the same expectancy and faith for "my" stuff because, really, my stuff is still someone else's stuff.
My stuff is HIS stuff.
My issues are His deal. He can give me the "distance" I need to pray in faith and rejoice in the hope of what He will do because He is always standing between me and whatever problem or circumstance or issue that comes my way. When I see that, my perspective is right and I can have the same peace, the same hope, the same faith, I have when I pray for my friends because HE is the same God and His promises are equally true, whether I am praying for a friend or praying for me.
So, Big, In My Face, Somewhat Saddening Things...But God! The faithful God who keeps covenant with His own, who promises that He will never leave us or forsake us; who promises to work all things together for good, who promises to withhold no good thing, who promises to do exceedingly, abundantly, beyond all we can even think or ask; and who promises that none of His good promises shall fail , is here! We can't see Him all the time but He says He is upholding us with His righteous right hand and that His everlasting arms are beneath us and promises to make our steps sure. This God who spoke the world into existence and sustains it by the power of His word, is for us! Our stuff is His stuff. So let's rejoice in that and watch the working of His power!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Faith
If our faith doesn't require us to step outside of what we know, understand or can achieve ourselves, it is not faith in God; it is faith in ourselves.
The other day I was listening to a sermon on-line. The pastor was speaking about contending for the supremecy of Christ in our post-modern age. He spoke about the unbiblical view of Christ that has emerged in many churches...a Jesus that is neither supreme nor omnipotent, one that will not return as Judge, but rather is some sort of good-hearted, sensitive type, verging on effeminate. There is no talk of wrath or holiness or hell. There is no acknowledgement that Christ died to save us from God and His wrath...which we rightly deserve. This "side" of God doesn't jive with the whole love vibe. The human mind can't reconcile wrath and love. We're not supposed to and we don't like that. But the bible is clear: God is love and He is holy. We are sinful and have a debt to be paid...one we could only fully pay in eternal hell. Because He is love, He sent His son to pay that debt once for all. His sacrifice grants us access to God where we might receive forgiveness and be reconciled to God...forever.
To use the vernacular" That don't make no kinda sense!
But God said it and it has to be true because it is impossible for God to lie. So what we are left with is (BIG REVELATION HERE)...we are not God. His ways are not our ways; they are higher and at times simply cannot make sense to us. That is where faith comes in. By faith we can see the plan of salvation, by faith we believe and accept it, by faith we walk it out every day, by faith we can hope for God's glory to be revealed in and through our lives, and by faith we await our inheritance: seeing Christ face to face in Heaven.
Face to Face. What a thought! And, it can only ring true and fill us with yearning by faith through the gift of the Holy Spirit.All of His promises require the gift of Spirit-empowered faith to believe and claim and live. But if our "god" is nothing more than a prettied up version of us, we require no faith at all because we are never going to be required to get outside of our own heads and experiences. There, the impossible is never possible, neither is true endurance, perserverance or hope.
Oh God of the impossible, God of the Bible, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob...grant us the gift of faith. Grant us faith that sees you rightly, not as some sort of super human but as All-mighty, Sovereign, Holy, Loving, Just, Powerful God. Let our view of you not be limited by what we think or understand or by our past experiences. Be BIG...bigger than our minds can concieve. Be big in every area. Be bigger than our intelligence, than our past, than our present, that our imagination, than our pain, than our disease, than our puny wishes, than the evil we see in the world, than our apathy, than war, than our age or size, than our sin. So big we have no choice but to surrender our all to our very Big and Holy and Good God! For Your Glory and Your Name's Sake...amen!
The other day I was listening to a sermon on-line. The pastor was speaking about contending for the supremecy of Christ in our post-modern age. He spoke about the unbiblical view of Christ that has emerged in many churches...a Jesus that is neither supreme nor omnipotent, one that will not return as Judge, but rather is some sort of good-hearted, sensitive type, verging on effeminate. There is no talk of wrath or holiness or hell. There is no acknowledgement that Christ died to save us from God and His wrath...which we rightly deserve. This "side" of God doesn't jive with the whole love vibe. The human mind can't reconcile wrath and love. We're not supposed to and we don't like that. But the bible is clear: God is love and He is holy. We are sinful and have a debt to be paid...one we could only fully pay in eternal hell. Because He is love, He sent His son to pay that debt once for all. His sacrifice grants us access to God where we might receive forgiveness and be reconciled to God...forever.
To use the vernacular" That don't make no kinda sense!
But God said it and it has to be true because it is impossible for God to lie. So what we are left with is (BIG REVELATION HERE)...we are not God. His ways are not our ways; they are higher and at times simply cannot make sense to us. That is where faith comes in. By faith we can see the plan of salvation, by faith we believe and accept it, by faith we walk it out every day, by faith we can hope for God's glory to be revealed in and through our lives, and by faith we await our inheritance: seeing Christ face to face in Heaven.
Face to Face. What a thought! And, it can only ring true and fill us with yearning by faith through the gift of the Holy Spirit.All of His promises require the gift of Spirit-empowered faith to believe and claim and live. But if our "god" is nothing more than a prettied up version of us, we require no faith at all because we are never going to be required to get outside of our own heads and experiences. There, the impossible is never possible, neither is true endurance, perserverance or hope.
Oh God of the impossible, God of the Bible, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob...grant us the gift of faith. Grant us faith that sees you rightly, not as some sort of super human but as All-mighty, Sovereign, Holy, Loving, Just, Powerful God. Let our view of you not be limited by what we think or understand or by our past experiences. Be BIG...bigger than our minds can concieve. Be big in every area. Be bigger than our intelligence, than our past, than our present, that our imagination, than our pain, than our disease, than our puny wishes, than the evil we see in the world, than our apathy, than war, than our age or size, than our sin. So big we have no choice but to surrender our all to our very Big and Holy and Good God! For Your Glory and Your Name's Sake...amen!
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