Friday, May 28, 2010

20 Questions

I just love Q&As and quizzes and such! It is nearly impossible for me to get an email or stumble upon a web quiz without immediately responding. I should probably seek therapy for this, but...well...I love this "fault" of mine too much to work to get it gone. :)

So...if this post is just for me, I guess that's ok since its my blog and everything. Haha!

1. when you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"I wonder if I have to go get the kids this afternoon..."

2. do you miss anyone right now?
Yes. I miss the kids. I miss my friend Charity. I miss my friend Mandy. I miss my dog Samantha. I miss my friend Jonathan.

3. if you could move anywhere else, would you?
Nope. Unless my whole family moved with me.

4. if you could choose, what would your last meal be?
Oh dear. I think I'd have: either onion straws with jalepeno dip or spinach & artichoke dip to start, then a steak (medium well) with a little salt, pepper and A1 sauce on the side. OR Ree's oniony topping. Yum. A huge baked potato with butter & sour cream and some Brussels sprouts (cuz i'm all about being healthy). To finish off the meal, I'd have chocolate cheese cake with raspberry sauce. Oh, and lots of sweet tea.

5. what famous person, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?
Jesus. I know I'll see him one day, but to get to talk with him now...i'm tearing up just thinking about it. I'd also like to meet Amy Carmichael, Elizabeth Elliot, Charles Spurgeon, Oswald Chambers, David Brainerd and John Piper.

6. what was the last book you read?
Sadly, I haven't read a whole book in a long time. I need to do something about that.

7. what was the last movie you watched?
Hmmm...don't do whole movies often. I guess it was The Princess & the Frog with the fam.

8. what was the last song you heard?
Haha...Poker Face by Lady Gaga. Yes, I'm embarrassed to admit that.

9. what is your dream vacation?'d like to take 3 months off of work and travel everywhere I've ever dreamed about. I'd like to be able to go and stay in each place for a couple of weeks and really soak up the life and culture and history...and take lots of photos, of course. The places I'd like to go are: Russia. I can't explain this. It has fascinated me since I was a child. I even tried to teach myself Russian in college. Epic Fail. But anyway...I'd start there. Then I'd go to the Mediterranean (Israel, Turkey, Greece, Italy). Then Europe (France, England, Ireland, Scotland - home of Amy Carmichael, Spain), then I'd bop around to Australia, China, India, Africa, and Ecuador - where the Elliots served. After that, I'd make my way to Alaska and then end up in Canada for a while to visit a friend who is like family. Then, finally, I'd travel around the US a bit (San Diego - where I was born, Washington State, Colorado, New Mexico, Oklahoma - to stalk the Pioneer Woman and visit a childhood friend, Chicago, New York, Tennessee, the Carolinas, DC, Florida and then home).

10. what is the next trip you will take? will either be to the Bahamas for a wedding, to Canada to visit that friend I mentioned or to Maryland for a conference.

11. did you ever go to camp?
Yes. And, in a tent, no less.

12. have you ever been in love?
I don't think so. No.

13. what do you want to know about the future?
I'd like to know if I will ever really be a normal size...if I will ever know what it is to be loved...if I will ever grow a baby in my womb.

14. where is your best friend?
In Canada.

15. how is your best friend?
She is happy and sad and sane and mad and joyful and tearful and disciplined and chaotic and flighty and grounded and always, always, passionate and giving her very guts to someone or something.

16. who is the biggest gossiper you know?
Haha. I don't know any gossipers. None. Not one. Nuh uh. No way.

17. what does your last text message say?
Navy Band. New Orleans. 5pm.

18. what are 3 things you've always wanted to do, that you still plan to accomplish?
Lose weight. Buy a home. Get a dog. Those are the 3 things I can actually do something about. My real list is Get married. Have children. Be a stay at home mom/photographer.

19. what is one thing you learned from your parents?
Family first.

20. what is one thing you hope to teach to your own children?
That question makes my heart and ovaries throb. I'd like to teach my children to know the Love of God, to love each other without reservation, to quickly forgive, to smile and laugh lots, to create (whether it is a story or a song or a painting or a photograph or a dance), to not be afraid of life like I am so often, and to see every single thing as a gift...wisely ordered by a sovereign God.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Ree the Diet-Killer!

It is a well-established fact that I am in love with Ree Drummond, aka "The Pioneer Woman." I adore her. I think she is da bomb. As such, I've forgiven her for stealing my life. I also visit her blog multiple times a day and have been known to dream about her. It's true. I'm not ashamed to say it. Or blog about it.

But, sigh, I must confess that visiting her blog has been difficult for me over the past month or so. As the days and weeks have gone by, I find myself less excited and giddy and more anxious about clicking the special bookmarked link I have for her blog.


Well, about a month ago, I started a diet. I decided enough was enough and set about tracking and limiting my daily caloric intake. I also started running...aka "slow jogging" three times a week. Its been going great and I've lost 15 pounds. But, this journey has not been without its battles. One of those battles is Ree's blog.

That makes me tear up a bit.

See, I still love me some P-Dub and think everything she does is fab...but...well...its hard to be resolved to go home and eat that frozen diet entree or salad or small serving of whatever mom cooked for dinner on Sunday when Ree posts things like this:

and this;

and this (drool):

and, God help me, this:

Sometimes I have to force myself to go look at this recipe, just to make it through the day.( You can read more about that trauma, here.)

Anyway, all that to say that, Ree's site and dieting are kind of mutually exclusive...unless you only plan on eating one meal a day...or, if your "diet" allows for 3600 calories a day...then you should be fine.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I really need to get out more...

Today, I spent about 5 minutes with a man. I spent 5 minutes with a man who was not my brother or my dad or my cousin or really old or dentally challenged or weird. We chatted and laughed...good, belly laughs...more than once. And, when the 5 minutes were done, I was giddy for about 30 minutes. Because I chatted and laughed with a man for 5 minutes.

The morale of this story is...while iPhone and Facebook and Canon might be good boyfriends when I know no better, as it turns out, they really don't hold a candle to chatting and laughing with a nice man for 5 minutes.

The other morale of this story is...I need to chat and laugh with men more, if for no other reason than to desensitize myself because, really, 30 minutes of giddiness after benign chatting and laughing is just sad.

Just. Plain. Sad.

You can say it. It's ok. I know you are thinking it and I agree.

Thank you for your honesty.

Monday, May 17, 2010

if I were...

If I was a season, I’d be spring in New Orleans (bright and cheerful, but fleeting).
If I was a piece of furniture, I’d be a worn, mushy chair & a half.
If I was a country, I’d be France (fanciful, romantic, indulgent and direct).
If I was a food, I’d be lasagna (rich but comforting, appearing complex but really simple).
If I was a day, I’d be Wednesday (halfway between glory and gloom).
If I was a color, I’d be purple because I'm not quite bold enough to be red.
If I was a letter I’d be J. I don't know why.
If I was a book, I’d be Persuasion.
If I was a political leader, I’d be the republican version of Nancy Pelosi (arrogant, awful and a serious detriment to America).
If I was a drink, I’d be Iced Coffee (cool, refreshing, just sweet enough).
If I was a man, I’d be Mark Harmon's "Gibbs"...cuz I want to be.
If I could know the future, I’d want to know if I was ever going to know what it feels like to be loved...or at least not get a lump in my throat when I think about it.

I run, er, um, jog?

For about 2 years now, I've wanted to start running. One morning, I actually did wake up early and head out for a run. It didn't go well and it didn't happen again. That is...until Friday night. My family was with me at our company crawfish boil and my brother suggested we all go to the park afterwards for a walk/run and to let the kiddos play. So, I said, sure. And, on the way there, I decided I'd give the C25k plan a try...just to see if I could do it and/or if I liked it. About half way through, I was panting, I was drenched in sweat, my side was hurting (a pain I hadn't felt since elementary school) and I just wanted to stop...but I didn't. I continued. I finished. I didn't even skip the cool down. I walked/jogged for a full 31 minutes. When I was halfway through my cool down walk, an old school song from my high school days came on and I just smiled and bopped and enjoyed it...all while my brother danced and celebrated with me.

It felt great.

It also felt like I should just go home and jump directly into the shower...clothes and all.

I didn't. I took a shower like a normal person instead.

Saturday morning, I drove to the store and bought some new running shoes. Saturday evening I went for a 20 minute walk. And, last night, I did Day 2 of C25k.

This is what accompanied my Facebook post about that day's workout:

"During the first half, I'm trying to talk myself into stopping. By the second half, I'm praying God will help me finish. By the time I'm dancing through the latter half of my cool down, I'm thinking, "that wasn't so bad...bring on thenext one!" and,that, ladies and gents is scientific proof that endorphins are hallucinogens."

As I type this, I'm still looking forward to my next workout, which will be on Wednesday.

I'll post more about this "journey" and the other changes that are going on in my life in coming days and weeks. :)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010 more reason why iPhone is my boyfriend.

Remember what I said about the iPhone being my boyfriend. It really is true. Just now, I spent the majority of my lunch break playing with a new app...the Hipstamatic Camera app. It is super cool the app allows you to change lenses, film types, and flash colors. Each one has a different feel or hue or type of distortion or texture. Its just amazing and super fun!

I've been saying "super" a lot. I apologize.

Anyway, here's some of my faves from my lunch break photo session:

Monday, May 3, 2010


I've titled and begun about 4 separate posts in the past 5 minutes. This is the one I ended up finishing.

I apologize in advance, as I am certain it will be full of rambling, pointless drivel. For your sake, I hope it is not completely painful and dull.

There are several posts swirling around in my head, funny posts, serious posts, posts that climb on rocks...but, well, I guess they just aren't ready to be born yet. In some respects I feel like Lizzie from Pride & Prejudice on her way home from Netherfield after she nursed her sister, Jane, back to heath. Jane is all aglow with the budding romance that revealed itself during that trip and Lizzie...well...Lizzie confesses there is much she will have to conceal.

I am a very transparent person, by nature. But, because I am older and wiser now (ehem) I try not to make a habit of vomiting up all of my thoughts and feelings and fancies and trials. People just don't need to know the inner-workings of my mind or the things that flutter (or sink like a stone) through my heart.

Right now, like Lizzie, I have many "sinking stones" to conceal. Those stones are painful and almost daily in their effect. They are also touching areas of my life, being used to move me, change me, grow me, make me a better person and a better Christian. I'd like to share some of that via this blog, but, well, sometimes its hard to be vague...or at least its hard to be vague all the time.

Concealing, though necessary, is quite a bit of work and not fun at all.

For now, though, this is as close as I can get to blogging about those stones. I know God will use them and make them stones of remembrance, but right this moment all I feel is the weight of them, the coldness and hardness of them, and I can't help but think back to all of the other stones I've accumulated, thus far. It feels like lots. It feels harsh. It feels like trading hopes and dreams for stones is all I will ever know...But God...