The visceral, instant love I felt when the Princess was born wasn't there for the Dudler right away. He was not a part of me. He was almost a "kid" when I met him. His family situation was difficult, even frustrating at times. He was difficult and frustrating at times. So for all of those reasons, and I'm sure many others that involve sin on my part, love took a while. I remember the day it came though...
I was at his parent's apartment. His mom had come in and we were talking about some struggles she was having fitting into our family and balancing life and school and work. Somewhere in that conversation she mentioned her son and how she worried that we wouldn't love him like we loved his sister and that he'd never have anything like that. I looked at her, tears welling in my eyes and I said "How can we not love him? He's her brother!" And that was it. I was done. I loved him. He was a part of me.
I wonder what kind of man he will become. He is so smart and gets the gospel. He remembers everything and can be so amazingly kind and loving, it just blows me away. I wonder when and how he will get saved and if I'll get to be a part of that. I wonder if he'll be tall and if I'll get to babysit his children.
I pray he will be a great man, a godly man, a kind man. I pray God will keep him for a godly woman and give him a great heritage. I pray he will never lose his amazing laugh or his desire to know things. I pray God will save him young and spare him from all the things I fear await him out there in the wide world. And, when I pray, I also thank God for bringing him to our family. I can't remember what we were like before him and I can't imagine our family without him.
I love you, Dudler.