Reminiscing

One thing you should know, if you are a person I just love a really lot, you will probably show up on my blog at least once.

Consider yourself warned. :)

One such person is about to have a birthday, and since I don't get to see him very often, I did two things:

1. I sent him a message saying, "Um, dude, I haven't talked to you in like 6 years!" To which he responded "What in the h$#% do you want?!?!" I just laughed and replied "Aw...hi. :) "

2. I checked my blog to see if I mentioned any of the crazy funny times we had together back when I saw him every stinkin' day...I found the following:

http://theitsjustmeblog.blogspot.com/2008/07/birthday-boy.html

http://theitsjustmeblog.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-hope-every-day-is-this-easy.html

Warning: You should not drink anything while reading these posts.

This post has more warnings than usual. Sorry about that...but I'm all about safety.

110 in 2010

Back in January, I made a list of 110 things I wanted to accomplish in 2010. I didn't share them in detail here or anywhere because A. Some of it was kinda personal and B. I was pretty positive I would fail miserably. But, now that we are past mid-year, I thought I'd give the list a little look-see and see how I've done and how I've maybe not failed quite so miserably. Since I've given no serious, concerted effort to accomplishing one thing on this list, it will be very interesting to see what has been accomplished purely by accident.

Here goes:

1. Consistently tithe again - I had really gotten away from tithing regularly and have had some consequences from that sort of disorder in my spiritual and financial life...so I have begun to walk in more consistency. I also forgot that this was #1 on my list...so that's kind of cool.

6. Determine to live in the Good of God’s grace and mercy each day…saying no to fear and doubt as they arise - The reality of this working itself out in my life is not as spiritual or as "always" as this statement sounds. But, I have seen God giving me grace to speak truth to myself more than I listen to my feelings and fears and failings. I am thankful for that.

9. Serve on the greeting team - I've been doing that for a few months now. :)

15. Join and dive into a new covenant group - I'm visiting one tonight. We shall see!

19. Take a photography class - I think this was the first thing from my list that I pursued. The class was a bust...a total waste of time... but at least it gets one item scratched off, right?

25. Buy a wide-angle lens - this should be arriving at my house today. I needed it for a job I have this weekend. So...yay!

30. Get a legit website - I started working on the design and looking into my hosting options two weeks ago.

31. Solidify my brand - Around the same time I started looking into a website, I redesigned my "brand" (logo, business cards, photo tags). I love it and can't wait to launch the new look and website!

33. Shoot a real wedding - I shot my first wedding at the beginning of this month. Some part of it, and the resulting photos, were wonderful...some...well...show me that I still have very much to learn.

39. Evaluate and adjust pricing - I have been working on this for the past month. I'd rather have a few root canals.

58. Become a runner - Ok...I'm going to cry on this one. Seriously. For the past two years, I've wanted to run. Its been in my heart to do it. I could see myself doing it. But then, there were fears too. I'm too large. What if I fall and hurt myself? What if I get heckled by someone who sees the giant girl trying to run? Well, those fears are still there, sorta, and I have hurt myself and been heckled...but 6 weeks ago, I started a program called C25k and I'm still going strong. Last night, I ran for 8 minutes straight...twice! And tomorrow night, I run for 20 minutes straight. I'm scared, but also excited and so blessed to have this testimony to share.

59. Eat better – lower carbs, less fast food/processed/frozen/junk - Yep. Been doing that, mostly, for the past 6 or 7 weeks. I still overeat sometimes and still eat things that are not the best choices...but...I'm getting there.

60. Lose 100lbs - As of yesterday, I'm down 21 lbs. I doubt I'll make the 100lb mark by year end, but...I don't care so long as I am less than when I started. :)

63. Dress better…one new outfit each month- I've purchased a few new pairs of pants, some cute tops and even started wearing heels sometimes. Go me!

66. Make a few successful Facebook to Real Life friendship transitions. J - I actually had dinner with one such Facebook friend Monday night.

68. Write to Yves every other week while he is in jail - I'm very happy to say that I no longer have to write my friend Yves in jail. He was released a few weeks ago! For those that don't know me well...don't worry...I do not make a habit of befriending criminals. Yves was in immigration jail. Our government really needs to figure out how to handle that better. That's all I'm going to say about that.

85. Fix up back yard/patio - I have all the fixin's for that...I just need a weekend home to do it!

107. Continue my boycott of Oprah - 100% successful.

I guess all I can say at this point is...I'm really thankful we have 6 more months left this year!

20 Years

This past weekend, we had our 20-year high school reunion. Being the completely unpopular and uninvolved high school student that I was, it seemed only natural I make up for my slacker ways by being a part of our planning committee. A good time was had by all...well mostly all. There were a few sad "table sitters" and husbands who kept a close eye on their watch and, well, me who held up nearby walls and hid behind my camera.

I'm not the most outgoing person on the planet. I feel much better about life if I have a job to do, but consequently that doesn't leave me much time to cultivate my conversation skills, much less help me look approachable.

Sigh.

I love taking photos and did enjoy capturing those memories for my classmates, but...I do have some regrets about this reunion:

1. I didn't dance. I love to dance, but, well, not necessarily in front of people with eyes. If I'm at a family wedding, I don't care at all. I know they love me and even if they make fun of me, its cool because we're family. I can give as good as I get then.

2. I didn't visit enough folks. There were several people at the party that I was in school with from 1st -12th grade. People I haven't seen in at least a decade. I did get to visit with some, but not all. I wish I had.

3. I didn't have photos taken of me with my old friends.

4. I didn't eat any dessert. I planned on it. They smelled yummy. It just felt wrong, so I didn't.

5. I didn't have a margarita. I planned on it, but every time I went to the bar, I just got water. I worried the margarita would make me sweat more...and that's not a good thing, especially when you're the fat girl.

6. I worried too much. So sad and truly the downfall of my life. I worry about what people see what people think what I may do that could make people think bad things about me or say bad things. Its like the confidence part of me in some respects is stuck in high school where heckling was a regular occurrence. Sigh.

That said, aside from the dancing thing, those regrets didn't ruin the whole reunion experience for me. I still really enjoyed seeing everyone and capturing the fun on camera and seeing how much everyone was enjoying the party I helped plan. That did my heart good. Some other things that did my heart good were:

1. Seeing how excited everyone was to be at the party and to see old friends again.

2. Hearing songs I hadn't heard in years and years...and remembering the lyrics.

3. Getting to see photos of my friend Henry's kiddos. I always knew he'd make a great dad.

4. Having people express an interest in my photography business.

5. Being able to be there for someone who was upset and a bit hurt...and being able to do something to try to help.

6. Finding out that some folks actually read, and enjoy, what I post on Facebook.

7. Seeing the past year of effort and meetings and messages and planning turn out so beautifully for our classmates.

8. Seeing our committee members actually able to enjoy the party because we all worked together to make sure that was a possibility.

Lesson's Learned

This week, I learned (and at times re-learned) some things...

1. Check the live blog after you think you hit "save" just in case you accidentally hit "publish".

2. I need accountability...not just some of the time.

3. I actually can sorta run.

4. Sweating is not a fate worse than death.

5. I sorta have a thing for bald men. Strange. One showed up at work today and I was like, "heeeeeyyyyy there." Very Strange.

6. I love singing and worshipping and reading God's word and praying.

7. I love ministering to people I love.

8. I love how God's word can penetrate and comfort and speak volumes all at the same time.

9. I really can not watch romantic movies...funny or otherwise. Not. At. All.

10. I love taking portraits and interacting with people while I'm doing that. Its really fun!

11. I love to laugh.

12. I don't laugh near enough.

13. Nothing satisfies like obedience to God.

14. I cry pretty easily.

15. I'm pretty empathetic.

16. I love the way I feel in purple.

17. My suffering is, in part, so that I will be equipped to comfort others.

18. Everyone, including me, thinks they are better than most people.

19. I think you can generally tell a man's age and/or level of maturity by the amount of cologne he wears.

20. I have serious issues with eyeballs and heights. Moreso than another other fear or phobia.

Dear You...

Dear You,

You don't know who you are, or more to the point that you are the "You" I'm now speaking to...but...You're wonderful. You're funny and kind and wonderful. Did I already say "wonderful"? Well...you are. Wonderful. Just wanted to say that...and so much more..but I won't.

-t

BABY BIRDS!!!

Remember when you and your friends would ride around town in a car, just for fun? Remember how you'd to turn the music up as loud as your ears could stand it? It was just loud enough to sorta vibrate through the seats and verged on hurting your ears, but you didn’t care because you liked the music? It was your jam. It was the latest and greatest. It was what all the other kids were listening to. Well, replace the fun ride with sitting at your desk…replace your jam with crackly and repetitive dialogue about baby birds. Add Ernie from Sesame Street laughing in the background…and then…well…then…the vibration and pain isn’t tolerable at all. In fact, it is so annoying and offensive that it makes you almost want to physically harm someone. However, because you are a civilized person, you simply take a deep breath and turn up the speaker on your computer, hoping that some peppy ELO will make it all better.

It doesn’t…until the cracking, ridiculously loud dialogue about baby birds stops. Then…the silence makes you want to shed tears of joy.

I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into a typical Wednesday afternoon in the life of this mad, fat woman.

20 Questions

I just love Q&As and quizzes and such! It is nearly impossible for me to get an email or stumble upon a web quiz without immediately responding. I should probably seek therapy for this, but...well...I love this "fault" of mine too much to work to get it gone. :)

So...if this post is just for me, I guess that's ok since its my blog and everything. Haha!

1. when you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"I wonder if I have to go get the kids this afternoon..."

2. do you miss anyone right now?
Yes. I miss the kids. I miss my friend Charity. I miss my friend Mandy. I miss my dog Samantha. I miss my friend Jonathan.

3. if you could move anywhere else, would you?
Nope. Unless my whole family moved with me.

4. if you could choose, what would your last meal be?
Oh dear. I think I'd have: either onion straws with jalepeno dip or spinach & artichoke dip to start, then a steak (medium well) with a little salt, pepper and A1 sauce on the side. OR Ree's oniony topping. Yum. A huge baked potato with butter & sour cream and some Brussels sprouts (cuz i'm all about being healthy). To finish off the meal, I'd have chocolate cheese cake with raspberry sauce. Oh, and lots of sweet tea.

5. what famous person, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?
Jesus. I know I'll see him one day, but to get to talk with him now...i'm tearing up just thinking about it. I'd also like to meet Amy Carmichael, Elizabeth Elliot, Charles Spurgeon, Oswald Chambers, David Brainerd and John Piper.

6. what was the last book you read?
Sadly, I haven't read a whole book in a long time. I need to do something about that.

7. what was the last movie you watched?
Hmmm...don't do whole movies often. I guess it was The Princess & the Frog with the fam.

8. what was the last song you heard?
Haha...Poker Face by Lady Gaga. Yes, I'm embarrassed to admit that.

9. what is your dream vacation?
Ok...so...I'd like to take 3 months off of work and travel everywhere I've ever dreamed about. I'd like to be able to go and stay in each place for a couple of weeks and really soak up the life and culture and history...and take lots of photos, of course. The places I'd like to go are: Russia. I can't explain this. It has fascinated me since I was a child. I even tried to teach myself Russian in college. Epic Fail. But anyway...I'd start there. Then I'd go to the Mediterranean (Israel, Turkey, Greece, Italy). Then Europe (France, England, Ireland, Scotland - home of Amy Carmichael, Spain), then I'd bop around to Australia, China, India, Africa, and Ecuador - where the Elliots served. After that, I'd make my way to Alaska and then end up in Canada for a while to visit a friend who is like family. Then, finally, I'd travel around the US a bit (San Diego - where I was born, Washington State, Colorado, New Mexico, Oklahoma - to stalk the Pioneer Woman and visit a childhood friend, Chicago, New York, Tennessee, the Carolinas, DC, Florida and then home).

10. what is the next trip you will take?
Um...it will either be to the Bahamas for a wedding, to Canada to visit that friend I mentioned or to Maryland for a conference.

11. did you ever go to camp?
Yes. And, in a tent, no less.

12. have you ever been in love?
I don't think so. No.

13. what do you want to know about the future?
I'd like to know if I will ever really be a normal size...if I will ever know what it is to be loved...if I will ever grow a baby in my womb.

14. where is your best friend?
In Canada.

15. how is your best friend?
She is happy and sad and sane and mad and joyful and tearful and disciplined and chaotic and flighty and grounded and always, always, passionate and giving her very guts to someone or something.

16. who is the biggest gossiper you know?
Haha. I don't know any gossipers. None. Not one. Nuh uh. No way.

17. what does your last text message say?
Navy Band. New Orleans. 5pm.

18. what are 3 things you've always wanted to do, that you still plan to accomplish?
Lose weight. Buy a home. Get a dog. Those are the 3 things I can actually do something about. My real list is Get married. Have children. Be a stay at home mom/photographer.

19. what is one thing you learned from your parents?
Family first.

20. what is one thing you hope to teach to your own children?
That question makes my heart and ovaries throb. I'd like to teach my children to know the Love of God, to love each other without reservation, to quickly forgive, to smile and laugh lots, to create (whether it is a story or a song or a painting or a photograph or a dance), to not be afraid of life like I am so often, and to see every single thing as a gift...wisely ordered by a sovereign God.