Monday, May 3, 2010


I've titled and begun about 4 separate posts in the past 5 minutes. This is the one I ended up finishing.

I apologize in advance, as I am certain it will be full of rambling, pointless drivel. For your sake, I hope it is not completely painful and dull.

There are several posts swirling around in my head, funny posts, serious posts, posts that climb on rocks...but, well, I guess they just aren't ready to be born yet. In some respects I feel like Lizzie from Pride & Prejudice on her way home from Netherfield after she nursed her sister, Jane, back to heath. Jane is all aglow with the budding romance that revealed itself during that trip and Lizzie...well...Lizzie confesses there is much she will have to conceal.

I am a very transparent person, by nature. But, because I am older and wiser now (ehem) I try not to make a habit of vomiting up all of my thoughts and feelings and fancies and trials. People just don't need to know the inner-workings of my mind or the things that flutter (or sink like a stone) through my heart.

Right now, like Lizzie, I have many "sinking stones" to conceal. Those stones are painful and almost daily in their effect. They are also touching areas of my life, being used to move me, change me, grow me, make me a better person and a better Christian. I'd like to share some of that via this blog, but, well, sometimes its hard to be vague...or at least its hard to be vague all the time.

Concealing, though necessary, is quite a bit of work and not fun at all.

For now, though, this is as close as I can get to blogging about those stones. I know God will use them and make them stones of remembrance, but right this moment all I feel is the weight of them, the coldness and hardness of them, and I can't help but think back to all of the other stones I've accumulated, thus far. It feels like lots. It feels harsh. It feels like trading hopes and dreams for stones is all I will ever know...But God...

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