Wednesday, October 13, 2010

"From the first day..."

“From the first day that you set your heart to understand and humbled yourself before your God, your words have been heard.” ~ Daniel 10:12

I've always been a Daddy's Girl. Always. If I was upset, hurt, excited, crushing on a boy, hurt by a friend, or just looking for someone to talk to, I wanted my Daddy. As such, nothing could destroy me more than my Daddy being upset with or disappointed in me. One stern look from Daddy and I was done...a sobbing mess. In those moments, I remember feeling like I was losing him; like there would always be distance and discord. That was unbearable for me.

It didn't help that my Daddy, wanting to make sure we really learned from our mistakes, seldom took and "i'm sorry" at face value and actually expected us to never commit the same wrong again. If we did, and tried to apologize, we heard about the times before and the weight of our trouble multiplied. Forgiveness wasn't given, it was earned. Though tensions blew over quickly, there was never real forgiveness...just a mandate to "show me you're sorry."

Not surprising, I carry these thoughts and life lessons into my other relationships, even my relationship with God. I sin, and I retreat; I cower; I try to earn forgiveness, and tend to keep that distance until I feel I have earned good graces again. But that is not who God is. God bestows His gift of forgiveness freely and wants us to run to it when we sin...when we need that gift the most! Even if we need forgiveness for the same thing multiple times. 

Even all of these years into my walk with the Lord, I still tend to look at God's love and grace and mercy on me as being controlled by a switch that I flip on and off depending on how good or bad I am. But, in the verse from Daniel, quoted above, God says that from the day I humbled myself before Him, He has heard me. From the first today...always...the same...regardless. And, when He hears, He acts. Isn't that wonderful news?!?!


  1. I am so that way, earning my forgiveness....
    when it's just a free gift...
    head! stop being so thick already!

  2. word verification: foriven.....seriously!?? that's twice today that the word verification had some hidden message :-O