Normally, I read my Elisabeth Elliot devotional in the morning. This morning was different. I didn't read it until my afternoon break and I nearly laughed/cried out loud. It was so appropriate.
In an earlier post, I wrote a bit about "weirdness" between a co-worker and myself. It has been over a week and is about the same. If I speak directly to this co-worker, he will respond, otherwise I don't exist. This is very hurtful...and confusing...to me. I have done what I can to make amends and tried to give him space, yet still be "me" (though I am not sure how effective that part is...as it seems it is "me" that is the problem.)
I want to understand...and more to the point, I want it to go away and go back to the way things were.
I realize that may not be possible...that this may be by design for more than one reason.
Regardless, what the Lord is saying is "Leave Him to Me." My job is to be obedient and leave the why's and the working out to Him.
Here is what the devotion said...the first part could have been written specifically by me about this situation (though, probably not written as well):
When there is deep misunderstanding which has led to the erection of barriers between two who once were close, every day brings the strengthening of those barriers if they are not, by God's grace, breached. One prays and finds no way at all to break through. Love seems to "backfire" every time. Explanations become impossible. New accusations arise, it seems, from nowhere (though it is well to recall who is named the Accuser of the brethren). The situation becomes ever more complex and insoluble, and the mind goes round and round, seeking the place where things went wrong, brooding over the words which were like daggers, regretting the failures and mistakes, wondering (most painfully) how it could have been different. Much spiritual and emotional energy is drained in this way--but the Lord wants to teach us to commit, trust, and rest. "Leave him to me this afternoon," is what his word is. "There is nothing else that I am asking of you this afternoon but that: leave him to Me. You cannot fathom all that is taking place. You don't need to. I am at work--in you, in him. Leave him to Me. Some day it will come clear--trust Me." "Humble yourselves under God's mighty hand, and he will lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on Him, for you [and the other] are his charge" (l Pt 5:7).
In my morning readings, I've been in Exodus. I am in the 20's where they receive the Law and instructions...very specific instructions...on building the temple and dressing and ordaining the priests. The sense I got from the Lord in this...and thinking about most of the ordinances and such in the OT in general...was that probably a lot of what was done, and the specificity of the instructions given didn't make practical sense to the people. Them being people and all, I am sure some wondered or even voiced thoughts that there might be some other, better, more efficient way to go about it. What they couldn't see was the big picture. They couldn't see what the Lord was preparing them for and preparing us for through the law, the rites, the sacrifices, and the festivals.
As I read through these passages, I can see the foreshadowing and preparation for Christ. It makes sense to me and I know there could have been no other or better or more efficient way.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
Foresight is very nearly always blind.
I want 20/20 foresight, but I cannot have it. What I can have is the assurance that the God of the Universe, who is for me and promises to work ALL things together for my good (even my own sinful ways, lusts and cravings) is fully aware of, at work in and sovereign over each step I take.
He is EVEN sovereign over this, admittedly small, yet upsetting, situation with my co-worker. Mine is not to know the end from the beginning (wow, how like Eve I am! Wanting to be God!)...mine is to discern in the moment what word, thought or deed would be the most honoring and obedient to the Lord.
He says, "Leave Him to Me."
And I say..."Amen."