“Look more at justification than sanctification. In the highest commands consider Christ, not as an exacter to require, but as a debtor, an undertaker, to work in you and for you. If you have looked at your resolutions, endeavors, workings, duties, qualifications, etc., more than at the merits of Christ, it will cost you dear.”
- Thomas Wilcox, Honey out of the Rock
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
doubt and fear and sorrow free
GIVE me a new, a perfect heart,
From doubt, and fear, and sorrow free;
The mind which was in Christ impart,
And let my spirit cleave to Thee. -- CHARLES WESLEY
If ever there was a heart's cry for me at this time in my life, it would be this. To be free from doubt, fear, sorrow...bitterness, discontentment, disappointment, guilt, and grief and just be, right here, right now, thankful for my portion, my lot, and God's providence in my life. To cast every care and hope and disappointment and uncertainty on Him and leave it here, confident that He who called me is faithful, is good and does good, is for me, and has a plan and purpose for what seems to me a pointless, small, and failure-filled life. If I could forget my plans, my expectations, and agendas and live in the truth that He is, cleave unto Him instead of clamoring after future phantoms, I think I would find exactly what my heart is seeking in all these other things...and more besides.
From doubt, and fear, and sorrow free;
The mind which was in Christ impart,
And let my spirit cleave to Thee. -- CHARLES WESLEY
If ever there was a heart's cry for me at this time in my life, it would be this. To be free from doubt, fear, sorrow...bitterness, discontentment, disappointment, guilt, and grief and just be, right here, right now, thankful for my portion, my lot, and God's providence in my life. To cast every care and hope and disappointment and uncertainty on Him and leave it here, confident that He who called me is faithful, is good and does good, is for me, and has a plan and purpose for what seems to me a pointless, small, and failure-filled life. If I could forget my plans, my expectations, and agendas and live in the truth that He is, cleave unto Him instead of clamoring after future phantoms, I think I would find exactly what my heart is seeking in all these other things...and more besides.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Update
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah
I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.
Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.
Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!
(Psalm 32)
Back in 04, the Lord used the truth of this Psalm in a mighty way in my life. It led to changes in me and my habits that I had previously believed impossible…and fruit I could not imagine. But, for the past year or more, I feel as if I’ve been looking in the rear view mirror at the great thing God did back then…and it just keeps getting more and more faint. I need to believe that the Lord does not start something He does not intend to finish. I have to believe that He would not have me stay where I am – silent about my real struggle while I complain and focus on other things.
So here is where I am: since Katrina I have gained about 40 lbs. I have been inconsistent in my eating. At times I follow the plan I believe the Lord gave me, more often I compromise, and I’ve found myself eating more and more for comfort again. I’ve not been exercising. This change has not only caused the weight to come back, but it’s effected me in other ways. I’m tired a lot. I lack joy. I’m discouraged and feel that my zeal for the Lord is not what it should be. Consequently, what comes out of me isn’t what it should be.
The dilemma I face now is where to go from here. I could vow anew to follow the eating plan perfectly and exercise at least 3 times a week, if not even join a gym. I could make all sorts of plans and promises…but I don’t know that a list or newly minted plan is what I need most. I think I need to get my head and heart straight first. For the past few months I’ve sort of lived in Colossians 3 and have tried to be as fervent in prayer as I can, but my efforts on my own so far have all ended in failure. I am thankful that I’ve at least not lost the sting, the grief…but I am not even certain that my response is correct. It could just be self pity and not true grief over my sin. I don’t even know if I rightly apprehend what is sin for me in this area and what is not. I think I’ve sort of gotten to a point where food in general feels like sin…it’s either the wrong kind of food or too much food or food for the wrong reason. I need the Lord to break through all of that and give me his perspective, his truth on this, otherwise, I’m just going to keep boxing at the wind.
God's promise is that He hears those who wait patiently on Him, and that they will see His salvation. He says that He has not forgotten to be gracious and that His anger over my sin will not shut out His compassion. Instead, he inclines His ear to me and will rescue me. But for now, I cling to these truths...and wait.
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah
I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.
Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.
Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!
(Psalm 32)
Back in 04, the Lord used the truth of this Psalm in a mighty way in my life. It led to changes in me and my habits that I had previously believed impossible…and fruit I could not imagine. But, for the past year or more, I feel as if I’ve been looking in the rear view mirror at the great thing God did back then…and it just keeps getting more and more faint. I need to believe that the Lord does not start something He does not intend to finish. I have to believe that He would not have me stay where I am – silent about my real struggle while I complain and focus on other things.
So here is where I am: since Katrina I have gained about 40 lbs. I have been inconsistent in my eating. At times I follow the plan I believe the Lord gave me, more often I compromise, and I’ve found myself eating more and more for comfort again. I’ve not been exercising. This change has not only caused the weight to come back, but it’s effected me in other ways. I’m tired a lot. I lack joy. I’m discouraged and feel that my zeal for the Lord is not what it should be. Consequently, what comes out of me isn’t what it should be.
The dilemma I face now is where to go from here. I could vow anew to follow the eating plan perfectly and exercise at least 3 times a week, if not even join a gym. I could make all sorts of plans and promises…but I don’t know that a list or newly minted plan is what I need most. I think I need to get my head and heart straight first. For the past few months I’ve sort of lived in Colossians 3 and have tried to be as fervent in prayer as I can, but my efforts on my own so far have all ended in failure. I am thankful that I’ve at least not lost the sting, the grief…but I am not even certain that my response is correct. It could just be self pity and not true grief over my sin. I don’t even know if I rightly apprehend what is sin for me in this area and what is not. I think I’ve sort of gotten to a point where food in general feels like sin…it’s either the wrong kind of food or too much food or food for the wrong reason. I need the Lord to break through all of that and give me his perspective, his truth on this, otherwise, I’m just going to keep boxing at the wind.
God's promise is that He hears those who wait patiently on Him, and that they will see His salvation. He says that He has not forgotten to be gracious and that His anger over my sin will not shut out His compassion. Instead, he inclines His ear to me and will rescue me. But for now, I cling to these truths...and wait.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
God is not slow...
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you...And count the patience of our Lord as salvation... (2 Peter 3:9, 15)
This passage was like a shot through the darkness last night; a shot in the arm for what has been ailing me, a shot through the very heart. But like spanking a child to break the control and distraction of sinfulness, the pain led way to clarity. I saw my circumstances through the light of God's word, not the haze of my disappointment and sin.
It was an epiphany, to say the least.
The details of my personal circumstances and disappointments, or yours, are not important. The truth is unconditional and universal. Whatever it is, God is not slow to fulfill His promises, He is being patient with us. And His patience is our salvation. His "delay" is saving us from harm, and whatever we feel we are suffering or losing, it is nothing compared to what we would be if God were as hasty as we would like.
He is good and does good...always. This is certain. He means to prosper us and not harm us. This is true. He is not slow, but patient. This is our salvation.
This passage was like a shot through the darkness last night; a shot in the arm for what has been ailing me, a shot through the very heart. But like spanking a child to break the control and distraction of sinfulness, the pain led way to clarity. I saw my circumstances through the light of God's word, not the haze of my disappointment and sin.
It was an epiphany, to say the least.
The details of my personal circumstances and disappointments, or yours, are not important. The truth is unconditional and universal. Whatever it is, God is not slow to fulfill His promises, He is being patient with us. And His patience is our salvation. His "delay" is saving us from harm, and whatever we feel we are suffering or losing, it is nothing compared to what we would be if God were as hasty as we would like.
He is good and does good...always. This is certain. He means to prosper us and not harm us. This is true. He is not slow, but patient. This is our salvation.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
...and God knew.
God Hears Israel’s Groaning
23 During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. 24And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. 25God saw the people of Israel—and God knew.
The Burning Bush
1Now Moses was keeping the flock of his father-in-law, Jethro, the priest of Midian, and he led his flock to the west side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. 2 And the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed. (Exodus 2:23-3:2)
Isn’t that “and God knew” wonderful…especially knowing what comes after it?
The people cried out, He saw and heard…and He knew that the deliverer was coming. There is a wonderful promise implicit in this, and repeated throughout Scripture: God always hears, always sees, and always knows. His hand is sure to move, to intervene, to heal, to lead us in the way we should go. For every cry for help, He promises and answer. For ever seemingly impossible situation, there is a burning bush!
23 During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. 24And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. 25God saw the people of Israel—and God knew.
The Burning Bush
1Now Moses was keeping the flock of his father-in-law, Jethro, the priest of Midian, and he led his flock to the west side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. 2 And the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed. (Exodus 2:23-3:2)
Isn’t that “and God knew” wonderful…especially knowing what comes after it?
The people cried out, He saw and heard…and He knew that the deliverer was coming. There is a wonderful promise implicit in this, and repeated throughout Scripture: God always hears, always sees, and always knows. His hand is sure to move, to intervene, to heal, to lead us in the way we should go. For every cry for help, He promises and answer. For ever seemingly impossible situation, there is a burning bush!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
quote
"God sees me," is the sweet solace of the true believer. He knows the way
that I take, will make that rugged way seem smooth. If perils and distress
so shake the heart that plenteous tears give evidence of suffering, these
tears are marked on high, and tender compassion will wipe them all away. The
day has not yet come when there shall be no more tears. But the day is
always present when they awaken sympathy in the Redeemer's breast. He who
wept on earth will soon wipe all tears away!
Henry Law
that I take, will make that rugged way seem smooth. If perils and distress
so shake the heart that plenteous tears give evidence of suffering, these
tears are marked on high, and tender compassion will wipe them all away. The
day has not yet come when there shall be no more tears. But the day is
always present when they awaken sympathy in the Redeemer's breast. He who
wept on earth will soon wipe all tears away!
Henry Law
Monday, September 10, 2007
Everyday Preparation
We presume that we would be ready for battle if confronted with a great crisis, but it is not the crisis that builds something within us— it simply reveals what we are made of already. Do you find yourself saying, "If God calls me to battle, of course I will rise to the occasion"? Yet you won’t rise to the occasion unless you have done so on God’s training ground. If you are not doing the task that is closest to you now, which God has engineered into your life, when the crisis comes, instead of being fit for battle, you will be revealed as being unfit. Crises always reveal a person’s true character. -- Oswald Chambers
A couple of months ago, I met with one of my Pastors. I went, ostensibly to discuss a particular issue of conflict/struggle I was having, but we wound up talking about my singleness.
I have come to see that pretty much every area of conflict or struggle in my life is somehow connected to my un-met desire for marriage and family.
At one point in our talk, he asked, "If the Lord told you today that His will for you was lifelong singleness, would you be ok with that?" Before the sentence was completely out of his mouth, I was already in tears and I very honestly answered "No." Even today, if I were asked the same question, my response would be the same. "Lifelong singleness" sounds like a death sentence to me. It is the worst of all possible options in my mind. I could think of 10 other "tragedies" I'd rather befall me than to remain as I am now.
In that meeting, I followed my answer up with "But I have to believe that the Lord won't just drop that on me without preparing my heart to submit, first. I have to believe He would make me ready to hear and accept that without it just destroying me."
Mr. Chambers would tell me that it wouldn't be some supernatural intervention, switch-flip that prepares my heart for God's Will (whether that be in line with my desires or not) but how I live my life today, and tomorrow and the next day. God's work is often done in what appears the mundane. The Cross was preceeded by 3 years of ministry and 30 years of obscurity. The Savior was birthed in a stable and entrusted to a teenager and her carpenter husband. But each unspectacular bit led up to the resurrection and Christ being seen as Savior of the world. The "crisis" of the Cross revealed the true character of the lowly Nazarene.
I'm not confident that, were a crisis to come to my life now, my character would be Christ-like. But I am confident that it can be so, that His strength is made perfect in weakness, that He is in the business of perfecting His saints and that He promises all grace and all sufficiency in all things at all times. I am also confident that though I am unfaithful, He never is and though my love waxes and wanes, His is from everlasting to everlasting...and for that, I am very grateful.
A couple of months ago, I met with one of my Pastors. I went, ostensibly to discuss a particular issue of conflict/struggle I was having, but we wound up talking about my singleness.
I have come to see that pretty much every area of conflict or struggle in my life is somehow connected to my un-met desire for marriage and family.
At one point in our talk, he asked, "If the Lord told you today that His will for you was lifelong singleness, would you be ok with that?" Before the sentence was completely out of his mouth, I was already in tears and I very honestly answered "No." Even today, if I were asked the same question, my response would be the same. "Lifelong singleness" sounds like a death sentence to me. It is the worst of all possible options in my mind. I could think of 10 other "tragedies" I'd rather befall me than to remain as I am now.
In that meeting, I followed my answer up with "But I have to believe that the Lord won't just drop that on me without preparing my heart to submit, first. I have to believe He would make me ready to hear and accept that without it just destroying me."
Mr. Chambers would tell me that it wouldn't be some supernatural intervention, switch-flip that prepares my heart for God's Will (whether that be in line with my desires or not) but how I live my life today, and tomorrow and the next day. God's work is often done in what appears the mundane. The Cross was preceeded by 3 years of ministry and 30 years of obscurity. The Savior was birthed in a stable and entrusted to a teenager and her carpenter husband. But each unspectacular bit led up to the resurrection and Christ being seen as Savior of the world. The "crisis" of the Cross revealed the true character of the lowly Nazarene.
I'm not confident that, were a crisis to come to my life now, my character would be Christ-like. But I am confident that it can be so, that His strength is made perfect in weakness, that He is in the business of perfecting His saints and that He promises all grace and all sufficiency in all things at all times. I am also confident that though I am unfaithful, He never is and though my love waxes and wanes, His is from everlasting to everlasting...and for that, I am very grateful.
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