Thursday, August 18, 2011

Death Match: Canada vs. USA

I was recently at a conference with some people from my church. One of the pastors there was from a church in Surrey, BC, Canada. On our name tags, it listed our city and state of origin. On his, it just said "Canada". This prompted him to go off on a bit of a humorous tangent about all the things we stupid, stupid Americans do to Canadians. Things like:

- asking someone from BC if they know a friend in Toronto. That'd be like assuming someone from Chicago knew someone in Alaska.
- asking if it's cold there.
- asking if they live in igloos.

This made me think of a chat session I had with my Canadia friend, FROM SASKATOON, SASKATCHEWAN, who does not live in an igloo. I was prepping for a trip to visit her and trying to anticipate things that might be different. Of course, I took to Google, and found some really funny posts about the differences between Canadians and Americans. Naturally, Nin and I had to come up with our own list.


Tina: so. you wanna do the differences thing with me or no? if not i won't cry too much...but please keep in mind that i am emotionally fragile at the moment.
Nin: aw. yes, lets do the differences

(Nin then proceeded to send me an article about a water ban in her city, limiting the amount of water each home could use. She also whined about how the city wouldn’t let her bathe or wash dishes or water her lawn. She also told me about a zit on her face. So…I just started the list without her.)

Tina: 1. We say "a-bout". You say "a-boat".
Tina: 2. We can bathe whenever we want to.
Nin: 3. WE know that just because you're in the same country, doesn't mean you know everyone in it
Tina: 4. Nighttime starts at about 7...not 11
Nin: 5. we're not wimps when we see a single snowflake
Tina: 6. We don't burn down whole cities over hockey games.
Nin: lol
Nin: lolol
Nin: 7. we dont have our minds in the gutter when we say "regina"
Nin: so... i win?
Tina: 8. We on the otherhand pronounce Regina correctly
Tina: 9. We also know that Lace goes on dresses. Not necks.
Nin: what?
Nin: :P
Tina: its not NeckLACE
Nin: 10. we pronounce necklace and cement correctly. considering they're not spelled neckless, nor is it spelled ceement
Nin: HA. i win on that one
Tina: 11. shut up
Nin: 12. we are not rude
Tina: 13. Correction. You are rude. We on the otherhand speak to elders with respect, not as if they are peers.
Nin: LOL
Nin: 14. we on the other hand eventually leave the womb of our mothers and become adults, and dont call people miss and mr when we're well into our 30's
Tina: says the person who lives on the same street as her parents. ;)
Nin: lol
Tina: and you like being called Miss...dont' lie
Nin: i do. i do very much
Tina: 15. We eat meatballs on pasta (not rice)
Nin: 16. we on the other hand realize the versatility of meatballs, and put them on pasta, rice and subs. we also eat them as finger food. because we're advanced like that
17. We put gravy on everything except french fries
Nin: 18. we put gravy on french fries, along with cheese, and call it "poutine"
Tina: 19. We wouldnt' name anything poutine because it sounds too much like poo and we'd giggle too much to eat it
Nin: 20. we dont refer to any of our foods as "dirty" because thats weird (as in “dirty rice”)
Tina: 21. We don't have Moose.
Nin: 22. we bury our dead in the ground where they belong, going with the phrase '6 feet under'
Tina: 23. We have better trees  (ooooh. burn!)
Nin: 24. we APPRECIATE the trees God gave our land.
Tina: 25. We can wear shorts in September, October, November, and sometimes December.
Nin: 26. we know what touques are.
Tina: 27. We laugh at people who wear touques
Nin: 28. we accept people for who they are, and don't laugh at them.
Tina: 29. We don't lie.
Nin: lol
Nin: 30. we dont go to war and try to take over other countries :P
Tina: 31. You don't have to cuz we do it for you.
Tina: (you're welcome)
Nin: 32. we go ice skating and taboggan down a snow hill, and make ice sculptures.
Tina: 33. We go sailing and water September and October and November
Nin: 34. we aren't hicks, we don't say y'all, and we definitely don't say 'all of y'all' so not to sound super hickish
Tina: 35. We. Aren't. Snobs.
Nin: 36. we are. that's why we speak the snobbiest language there is, french.
Tina: 37. We have french heritage too. But...still aren't snobs. Must mean we're better.
Nin: 38. we aren't always out to "win" but instead, out for peace and acceptance. Love and not war and in turn, because of our humble amazing attitude, we do win.
Tina: (says the person who's said "I win!" like twice already)
Tina: 39. We fry everything...even veggies.
Nin: 40. so do we. :P
Tina: aw <3
Tina: 41. We have canals for drainage.
Nin: 42. we have basements, sometimes two basements.
Tina: 43. If we had basements, they'd be called underground pools
Nin: 44. we have a queen :P
Tina: 45. we don't need no stinkin' queen.

With that. Nin raised the white flag. Admitted our superiority and went to lick her wounds. ;)

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