Way back when I first started having daily quiet time that is where it began...with a bible in the bathroom. This change of pace and sort of going back to the beginning was very sweet. Though it wasn't intense or lengthy and didn't include journaling or notes or additional devotional material...or even coffee...I left with a strong sense of God's presence and an abundance of tender affections toward God. It continued in the car as I worshipped all the way to work to a song called "Count it all Joy." And it continues now.
This is quite a sharp contrast from yesterday when, for the better part of the morning, discouragement ruled the day. What God showed me, aside from the Gardening Parable was that my focus was off. When I was discouraged, my focus was on what I could and could not eat, what I was doing without and the results I thought I should be seeing. But He says:
For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of
righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. (Romans 14:17)
Eating a certain way is not going to manifest the Kingdom of God in my life. Following a plan perfectly or weighing a certain amount isn't going to make me righteous or bring peace and joy. If I don't settle this one point, I can go no further. The heart and motives are the real battlefield here.
I believe it is true that everything we do is either righteous or unrighteous, lawful or unlawful, God-glorifying or self-glorifying. Truly, everything we say, do and think either says something about God or something about us. The question is...who do we want to say something about? Or better, who should we say something about?
In repenting of gluttony, I am saying "God is enough. God is holy and God is my strength. God demands my all and God is kind. He IS the bread of life. He IS my satisfaction. He is my maker and my Savior." In following a diet, all I say is "This plan is great." or "Check out my self control."
Only one is worth saying or will edify or help others.
This morning, with stirring heart and re-kindled affections, I wanted with everything in me to only say things about God. I wanted to say, to anyone who reads this blog or observes my life to hear: I am an instrument for His use; perhaps to bear burdens, as of pain, sorrow, or shame; perhaps to convey messages, writing, speaking, conversing; perhaps simply to reflect light, showing His mind in the commonest of all daily rounds. In only one way can I truly do anything of these; in the way of inner harmony with Him, and peace and joy in Him. (H. C. G. Moule)
So whether I am successful or not, remain single or not, whether circumstances are fun or foul, or find myself in feast or famine, my prayer is that these tender affections will go undiminished and I can say with all that is within me:
This is the LORD'S doing; It is marvelous in [my] eyes. (Psalm 118:23)