Yesterday morning did not begin as I planned. I planned to get up at my usual time (3am) but slept through my alarm - due, I'm sure, to the fried seafood I had at dinner with friends the night before - and didn't wake up until nearly 4am. When I walked out into the hall, I could see my roommate's door ajar and then a note on the counter saying, simply, "PRAY!" I knew my plans would come to nothing and began preparing my heart for whatever the Lord had instead. I prayed that I wouldn't begrudge her taking my quiet time (again), that I could put aside what I felt I needed to do what the Lord wanted me to do. Truth is, it was difficult because I woke up feeling an overwhelming need for Him that morning. Things are not going as they should. I am not doing well. I need all of the Lord I could get. In that moment of struggle, what I could not see was that God was giving me Himself as I died to me, my plans, and gave my time to another.
As we spoke, as I prayed for words, as I tried to encourage her, I heard the Lord speaking to my heart, as well. Even after I wrapped things up, hastily got ready for work and rushed along my way, He was still speaking, leading me into a moment of worship in my car that made me suddenly have a strong desire for a convertible. The roof just got in my way and all I could do was push my hands up as hard as I could and cry.
"There is within a hunger after God, given of God, filled by God. I can be happy when I am conscious that he is doing what He wills to do within." -- Jim Elliot
So often I try to guage God's working in my by my estimation of how well I "do" things. If I follow my schedule or do such and such or don't do these things, God is moving and working, I think. And, conversely, when I "mess up" or my schedule is met with obstacles and interruptions, God was stopped or hindered. Not so. Just not so. Those moments are divine interference - divinely showing us how much of our flesh has seeped into our pursuit of the Lord, and the iniquity even in our "holy things".
Lord, thank you that you cause us to hunger...and thank you that, though our plans get way-laid, though we fail, though others "interfere" and we respond sinfully...you use it all, you continue to speak, you continue to move, you continue to work out your purposes and do what it is you are doing in our hearts. Make us receptive to your move when it doesn't look like it...when it goes against our plans or even our will. And cause us to submit joyfully to your plan, whatever it may be...For your glory and your name's sake. Amen.