But, God...

It happens, invariably. I'm listening to a friend, frustrated or overwhelmed with life, sharing all the reasons they feel that way, and I say it. I wait until they take a breath or have poured out all the yuck they needed to, or I just interject when I feel it necessary. The response to my interjection is varied. Some sigh in resignation, some cry, some get a little peeved. But, regardless of the initial response, the truth settles in, light begins to shine at the end of the crappy tunnel they are in and, they find fresh strength for their journey. What is it that I say, you ask? Well, just two words: "But, God..."

That simple "But, God..." says more than anything else could. Oprah, Dr. Phil, you self-help authors, step aside. "But, God..." covers it. Is your marriage in trouble? A cherished relationship causing you pain? Is your child wayward? Are you in financial trouble? Is the latest diagnosis grim? Do you feel like your circumstances will simply never improve?

"But, God..."

He still is. Still on His throne. Still sovereign over all. Still promising to never leave or forsake you. Still promising to work all things together for good. Still saying "all" means "ALL"...yes, even that thing you're thinking it doesn't mean right now.

And, it means the things I think it doesn't mean right now, too.

Though I am pretty faithful to say "But, God..." to my friends when they need it, I don't say it to myself near enough.

Like, when I have a running injury and think that it means I can never run again and, thus, won't be able to complete this weigh loss journey once and for all...

Or, when I eat that meal that I probably shouldn't and think that means I will never really be free from gluttony...

And, when the scale doesn't move like I think it should and I think that means that my hopes for future happiness are dashed...

Or when that guy that I think it pretty wonderful doesn't seem to care or notice...

And, when I can literally feel my ovaries shriveling...

Or, when I've sinned that way, again...

And, feel how cold and hard my heart is when I read God's Word...

Or, spend another week mostly alone...

And, I have no photography jobs...

I need to tell myself "But, God..." The God who is, who hears me, who, more than that, inclines his ear to my supplications, who takes thought of me, who's thoughts toward me are precious, who gave His son for me, a Son who is, at this very moment interceding for me, who is the faithful God, from everlasting to everlasting...that God's got this...every bit of it.

My circumstances, my failings, my disappointments, my running injuries, are no surprise to Him and are each a step forward in the direction of what He's called me to. Even when they don't look like it. Even when I don't like it. Even when I don't understand it. Why God would use my sin or my failing to move me closer to what He has for me, I don't know. But, that he would use my sin to bring about good in and for me, is just plain awesome. Now, if I can just remember that, and remember to say "But, God..." the next time I am tempted to  fret and script out the next 50 years of heartache, that would be pretty awesome, too.