Catching Up...

It's 10:19pm. I should be in bed...but I'm not.

No, I'm not 12 and my mom isn't about to walk in and catch me feverishly typing under the covers despite explicitly telling me it was time for lights out.

I was never that kid. I was very obedient and compliant...except when it came to make-up and cleaning my room.

I should be in bed because, when one is required to be to work by 7:30, and said "one" likes to have something of a morning routine which includes bible reading, prayer, exercise and the occasional run to the bank and/or grocery store...one needs to be in bed by 10pm.

This was never a problem until about a year ago, when I met someone who lived in Canada. Did you know they don't have the bi-annual time change there? Well, they don't...and that means that half the year, my friend is an hour earlier than me. Which means then when she is done putting her kiddos to bed, chilled with the hubs a bit and is ready to chat the night away...its almost time for me to go to bed. Which means, i don't go to bed at 10pm anymore.

But, I'm trying to get back in the groove with that. I'm actually trying to get back in the groove with a lot of things. Things like eating like a normal human being who actually doesn't want to have Type 2 diabetes, heart trouble, or sleep apnea; exercising...yes, moving and running and sweating on purpose...and regularly; and doing housework every day, not just when I get fed up or people are coming over.

There are considerable obstacles to this "getting back in the groove" thing. There's my photography business. Since I have a day job, my editing and product preparation is all done in the evenings after work. It is a time consuming thing. There's also church activities which keep me out until 9 or 10pm a few nights a month. I also like to visit with friends in the evenings, on occasion. And then, there's TV. I like it. I like to sit and stare at it, especially when Mike Rowe or some mystery or decorating show is on. I like to watch people do things while I sit and do nothing. Which brings me to the last considerable obstacle...I like to sit and do nothing. I like it a lot. And, I am really good at it, too. So...that's a problem.

Despite these obstacles, I have begun to make some moderately consistent changes. Over the past 3 months, I started watching what I ate and fighting to make good choices when it comes to food. I'm not always on target, but I am thinking and fighting and making better choices more frequently than I was 3 months ago, so that's something. I started a walking/jogging routine. I jog about as fast as folks in a geriatric 3-legged race, but, it beats sitting on the sofa eating nachos. And, most recently, I added a circuit training dvd to my weekly exercise routine. So, on average, I'm jogging 3 times a week and doing my circuit training 3 times a week. Some days I do both. Some days I wake up at the butt crack of dawn to exercise, too...but those are few and far between.

I'm hoping one of those days is tomorrow, because this week is full of those obstacles I mentioned earlier. They are fun obstacles, but ...obstacles nonetheless. I don't want to give up the things that fill out my life and make it fun and rich and varied, so that means, when I can...I need to get my butt to bed by 10pm...and sometimes that means making myself wake up at the butt-crack of dawn even when I don't make it to bed on time.

I'm saying "butt" a lot. Sorry.

Anyway, its been a busy 3 months, full of changes, and some progress. So far, I've lost 21lbs. I have miles to go before I am anywhere near what could be considered a normal, healthy weight for me, but I'm encouraged and often filled with fight I didn't know I had. Or, rather, didn't think would really be given to me.

See, I know this fight, this progress I've made, doesn't originate within me. "Me" would still be sitting on the sofa, eating myself into oblivion and a slow, sad, lonely death. I take no credit for this change. It is the product of prayer and the grace of God. Whatever I achieve, is a gift and a kindness. I'm just so thankful that He's given me this much and trust there is more to come.

It's now 10:46 and I really should shut up and go to bed now. My alarm is set for 5:15 and I know it will have no mercy on me when the time comes. It won't care that I blogged to record a sweet testimony. It won't care that I just didn't feel tired when bed time rolled around. It won't care that it will probably take me at least 30 minutes to actually fall asleep and that I'll feel really tired at 5:15am.

Alarm clocks are jerks that way.

But, sigh, I'll be the bigger person here. I'll do the responsible thing and finally say "goodnight"... and probably hit snooze at least once in the morning.