Facebook

It is generally known that I "heart" Facebook. Facebook is my boyfriend. Facebook is the only reason I have friends. Well, the only evidence that I have friends, because, seriously, if someone were to stalk me on an average week...they'd wonder if I knew anyone besides my family. They'd also wonder why I had a phone since I almost never call anyone. And, they'd probably also wonder what the heck is up with my pinky toes.

But, I digress.

Facebook is my boyfriend, and like any boyfriend there are things that I adore and things that I loathe about "him". What I adore is being able to catch glimpses of "a day in the life" of my friends and family and folks that were my friends back when we were in the 4th grade and that person I met that one time at a conference and that friend of a friend that I've never actually talked to. Facebook is great for that! What I don't adore so much is, well, people who don't get what Facebook is really for. Or, perhaps I should say, who don't use Facebook for the same reasons I do.

I use it to stay in touch with my friends, to keep up with them and see cute photos of their families and post status updates and comments that make people smile or, on a good day, laugh. I do not use Facebook as a forum to share my political views or rant about what is wrong with the government/the church/the grocery store near my home (well...not generally). I don't use Facebook to share news about my neighborhood (psst, there's a cop hiding on the corner of main and elm) or share my daily itinerary or give a sermon or passive-aggressively correct/comment on someone else's behavior (well not generally).

By and large, most of the folks on Facebook don't do those things either...but a recent perusal of status updates would suggest that the "we don't really 'get' Facebook" contingency is growing.

And, really, the more I think about the types of things these folks post, the more funny it seems to me. I mean, what if I was just really passionate about bottled water...about a specific kind of bottled water? What if I thought that all other forms of bottled water were horrible and of the devil? What if I took each and every opportunity I could to share the truth about the wrong kinds of bottled water or promote the right kind?

Now...what if I really didn't but pretended I did, just for one or two status updates? What if, out of the clear blue sky, right after I'd commented on my friend's baby and made a joke about another's dance moves, I posted something railing against Dasani? If nothing else, it would make people scratch their heads. But, hopefully, it would make them laugh, especially if they read an earlier post where I announced that I'd be posting the most pointless, ridiculous and even annoying status updates I could think of.

I started with this:

This is my cup of sprite. I don't drink sprite often. Do you like my lipstick?

To accompany these posts, I'll be going into a bit more detail about all the innocuous goodness on here, so stay tuned!