Twice over the past week or so, I've been resolute. I had reasoned things all out in my mind and knew what I was NOT going to do. I told the Lord all about, explaining the whys and wherefores...I was right...justified...reasonable. And twice, the Lord caused me to (at last joyfully) do that which I had vowed (ok ranted) I would not do. These weren't major things - one was an e-mail reply and the other was a strain of dinner conversation. What they were was not the issue, it was the principle of the matter. To the Lord, it was my heart that mattered. In both instances, my motivation for the decisions and vows and rants wasn't, necessarily to be wise or obedient, it was pride and self-preservation.
Standing on the other side of both things now, it is just so clear to me what it means for his will to be done. Often, I can have this general idea about the certainty of God's will, but my experience in life is that things rarely ever go the way I think they will or plan, so I can't really grasp that level of certainty when it comes to the events of life. God can. God does. What He wills, despite opposition and seeming impossibility and even sinful thoughts and actions or inactions...His will is certain. It was his will that I respond to an e-mail I didn't want to respond to and it was His will that I discuss a topic I had no intention of discussing with a virtual stranger. In both instances, I was so decidedly set up that when the moment came to relent, to relinquish my will and obey, it was so clear it wasn't even a fight...and it was funny to me how the Lord got His way despite my best efforts.
It is this truth, the certainty of His sovereign will, that I hold to when I am less inclined to pride and self-preservation. It is this truth that restrains me when those around me are encouraging me to jump into something feet first, to put my hands on the hunk of clay, to attempt to order my own steps in the direction of something I want. It is this truth that helps me to smile at their care and concern and desire for good things and say simply, "I can't. I must trust the Lord with this."
That is not an easy position to be in and is not reflective of my wants or just a veiled attempt at pride and more self-preservation...it is what I am called to right now. I am called to Ask, to Trust, and watch the Lord work. I am called to believe not simply that He can accomplish His will...but that He will accomplish His will...that it is in fact already done. Now is simply the unfolding or revealing. I just see a piece, but I can know that the rest is coming and will be made plain soon. I can also know that even in the most stagnant seeming of moments, even when I feel the strongest urge to give in to my friend's advice and go grab that bull by the horns, this praying and watching is the exact opposite of inactivity or passivity. I may not get the instant gratification of a forced result or knowledge, but that doesn't mean things are at a standstill and will remain so if I don't act. God is ever moving and working, and leading and guiding and setting me up...step by step. I have no clue what the next one is, but I do know that there will be one, and when I get there, no matter what I've vowed or determined or what I think I understand, His way will be plain - His will WILL be done - and "the end it will explain."
Standing on the other side of both things now, it is just so clear to me what it means for his will to be done. Often, I can have this general idea about the certainty of God's will, but my experience in life is that things rarely ever go the way I think they will or plan, so I can't really grasp that level of certainty when it comes to the events of life. God can. God does. What He wills, despite opposition and seeming impossibility and even sinful thoughts and actions or inactions...His will is certain. It was his will that I respond to an e-mail I didn't want to respond to and it was His will that I discuss a topic I had no intention of discussing with a virtual stranger. In both instances, I was so decidedly set up that when the moment came to relent, to relinquish my will and obey, it was so clear it wasn't even a fight...and it was funny to me how the Lord got His way despite my best efforts.
It is this truth, the certainty of His sovereign will, that I hold to when I am less inclined to pride and self-preservation. It is this truth that restrains me when those around me are encouraging me to jump into something feet first, to put my hands on the hunk of clay, to attempt to order my own steps in the direction of something I want. It is this truth that helps me to smile at their care and concern and desire for good things and say simply, "I can't. I must trust the Lord with this."
That is not an easy position to be in and is not reflective of my wants or just a veiled attempt at pride and more self-preservation...it is what I am called to right now. I am called to Ask, to Trust, and watch the Lord work. I am called to believe not simply that He can accomplish His will...but that He will accomplish His will...that it is in fact already done. Now is simply the unfolding or revealing. I just see a piece, but I can know that the rest is coming and will be made plain soon. I can also know that even in the most stagnant seeming of moments, even when I feel the strongest urge to give in to my friend's advice and go grab that bull by the horns, this praying and watching is the exact opposite of inactivity or passivity. I may not get the instant gratification of a forced result or knowledge, but that doesn't mean things are at a standstill and will remain so if I don't act. God is ever moving and working, and leading and guiding and setting me up...step by step. I have no clue what the next one is, but I do know that there will be one, and when I get there, no matter what I've vowed or determined or what I think I understand, His way will be plain - His will WILL be done - and "the end it will explain."
Hey! I was just checking on you. I'm excited about what the Lord is doing...I can hardly wait to see the end result!
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