Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth;
keep watch over the door of my lips!
Do not let my heart incline to any evil,
to busy myself with wicked deeds
in company with men who work iniquity,
and let me not eat of their delicacies! (Psalm 141:3-4)
I am the oldest of 5 and the only girl. I have 8 uncles, about twice that many great-uncles and 10 male first cousins. Just about every one of them has (or had) a sarcastic and/or crude sense of humor. My grandfather was chief among them and each of my maternal uncles and my brothers have followed in his footsteps. To survive in my family, I had to adapt to and adopt this type of humor and playful banter, which borders on character assassination. All of it is done in fun and is akin to giving someone a really big, hug … really and truly. Of course, I would rather have the hug, but have come to feel very comfortable giving and receiving playfully biting barbs…and also “appreciating” what can only be termed “bathroom humor.”
My brothers delight in trying to gross me out or make me blush…and though they are often successful in this, I am usually also laughing at the same time.
I laugh easily, so that is somewhat to “blame”, but so is the fact that this is the humor I grew up with and what is often most funny to me. I am not as prone to throw out off-color comments, but I am hard-pressed to think of a “funny” that does not involve sarcasm of some kind.
For the past 3 months, I have been working in close quarters with a group of men who share my family’s sense of humor. Needless to say, I have felt “right at home”…and have been equally grossed-out and prone to blush. It’s been fun…perhaps, too much fun.
Prior to Hurricane Katrina, I worked in a corner on the first floor, basically isolated from my other co-workers. Needless to say, these post-Katrina surroundings are much more agreeable to me. I have loved getting to really know people I only knew by name before…and I’ve never laughed so much at work since I worked at a seafood restaurant in high school!
The question I’ve been asking myself is…should I be laughing? Should I encourage or take part in the office shenanigans? What does the humor I enjoy and have my share in say about who I am…who my God is? Am I dishonoring Him in what I say and laugh at? Am I portraying a poor example of Christianity to those around me?
A couple of my cohorts claim to be believers…none of them seem to subscribe to the same brand of Christianity I aspire to…but do I really look all that different? Am I really all that different?
I would like to think that I have appropriate boundaries and that who I am in Christ shines through and beyond whatever shortcomings, failings or missteps I make. But I also don’t want to STAY in the same shortcomings, failings and missteps. If I am sinning I want to know, repent and move on to the next shortcoming, failing and misstep J…and by God’s grace, I’d like to do it without isolating my new friends. I’d like His work of reformation to be a testament to His love and grace and not just make the walk of faith look like a boring and stifled thing.
I would like what He has done and will do to be seen as:
Not grace to bar what is not bliss,
I am the oldest of 5 and the only girl. I have 8 uncles, about twice that many great-uncles and 10 male first cousins. Just about every one of them has (or had) a sarcastic and/or crude sense of humor. My grandfather was chief among them and each of my maternal uncles and my brothers have followed in his footsteps. To survive in my family, I had to adapt to and adopt this type of humor and playful banter, which borders on character assassination. All of it is done in fun and is akin to giving someone a really big, hug … really and truly. Of course, I would rather have the hug, but have come to feel very comfortable giving and receiving playfully biting barbs…and also “appreciating” what can only be termed “bathroom humor.”
My brothers delight in trying to gross me out or make me blush…and though they are often successful in this, I am usually also laughing at the same time.
I laugh easily, so that is somewhat to “blame”, but so is the fact that this is the humor I grew up with and what is often most funny to me. I am not as prone to throw out off-color comments, but I am hard-pressed to think of a “funny” that does not involve sarcasm of some kind.
For the past 3 months, I have been working in close quarters with a group of men who share my family’s sense of humor. Needless to say, I have felt “right at home”…and have been equally grossed-out and prone to blush. It’s been fun…perhaps, too much fun.
Prior to Hurricane Katrina, I worked in a corner on the first floor, basically isolated from my other co-workers. Needless to say, these post-Katrina surroundings are much more agreeable to me. I have loved getting to really know people I only knew by name before…and I’ve never laughed so much at work since I worked at a seafood restaurant in high school!
The question I’ve been asking myself is…should I be laughing? Should I encourage or take part in the office shenanigans? What does the humor I enjoy and have my share in say about who I am…who my God is? Am I dishonoring Him in what I say and laugh at? Am I portraying a poor example of Christianity to those around me?
A couple of my cohorts claim to be believers…none of them seem to subscribe to the same brand of Christianity I aspire to…but do I really look all that different? Am I really all that different?
I would like to think that I have appropriate boundaries and that who I am in Christ shines through and beyond whatever shortcomings, failings or missteps I make. But I also don’t want to STAY in the same shortcomings, failings and missteps. If I am sinning I want to know, repent and move on to the next shortcoming, failing and misstep J…and by God’s grace, I’d like to do it without isolating my new friends. I’d like His work of reformation to be a testament to His love and grace and not just make the walk of faith look like a boring and stifled thing.
I would like what He has done and will do to be seen as:
Not grace to bar what is not bliss,
Nor flight from all distress, but this:
The grace that orders our trouble and pain,
And then, in the darkness, is there to sustain. (John Piper)
My coworkers know a bit about the road I’ve walked over the past couple of years…and have seen the physical fruit of it. They have noticed the weight loss and the self-control the Lord has instilled in me…and continues to cultivate. I have done my best to turn all of their compliments and encouragements into an opportunity to give praise to the only one to whom it is due. But do those incidental conversations speak louder than the day to day…or does the day to day say something different from those incidental conversations?
I want to say “I don’t know” but, I think the passage of scripture I read this morning answers the question for me…
Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth;
keep watch over the door of my lips!
Do not let my heart incline to any evil,
to busy myself with wicked deeds
in company with men who work iniquity,
and let me not eat of their delicacies! (Psalm 141:3-4)
Lord, help me to find a balance without compromise. Show me how to be friendly and yet refrain from things that dishonor you, without bringing undue shame on my friends. I want them to know your truth and your law, but also your grace and love. Show me my heart and help me to conform it and my mouth, that only sweet water will flow from it…for your glory and the sake of your name. Thank you for the convicting and correcting power of your spirit and for the desire to please you…stir that up that it might overcome any fear I may have of losing or changing friendships. Make this my true heart’s prayer: "I wish Thy way, But when in me myself would rise, And long for something otherwise, Then, Holy One, take sword and spear, And slay. (Amy Carmichael)”
My coworkers know a bit about the road I’ve walked over the past couple of years…and have seen the physical fruit of it. They have noticed the weight loss and the self-control the Lord has instilled in me…and continues to cultivate. I have done my best to turn all of their compliments and encouragements into an opportunity to give praise to the only one to whom it is due. But do those incidental conversations speak louder than the day to day…or does the day to day say something different from those incidental conversations?
I want to say “I don’t know” but, I think the passage of scripture I read this morning answers the question for me…
Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth;
keep watch over the door of my lips!
Do not let my heart incline to any evil,
to busy myself with wicked deeds
in company with men who work iniquity,
and let me not eat of their delicacies! (Psalm 141:3-4)
Lord, help me to find a balance without compromise. Show me how to be friendly and yet refrain from things that dishonor you, without bringing undue shame on my friends. I want them to know your truth and your law, but also your grace and love. Show me my heart and help me to conform it and my mouth, that only sweet water will flow from it…for your glory and the sake of your name. Thank you for the convicting and correcting power of your spirit and for the desire to please you…stir that up that it might overcome any fear I may have of losing or changing friendships. Make this my true heart’s prayer: "I wish Thy way, But when in me myself would rise, And long for something otherwise, Then, Holy One, take sword and spear, And slay. (Amy Carmichael)”
Hey! One of the things I love about you is your sense of humor. You know, I don't think Christ was some somber, sour-pussed face kind of a man. He got to know the "lost"...He sat and ate with them...He conversed with them...He listened to them.
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't think He said anything compromising...and I also think that's why they loved Him. He was constant...they knew His boundaries and respected Him for that.
You are shining in front of your co-workers...be true to your boundaries...but don't hide your light behind a cubicle.
BTW...we took a ride to Lakeview yesterday...it is by far worse than I had ever imagined. I didn't see your church (wasn't sure where it was)...everything looks grey and it's like a ghost-town there. It is heart-breaking.