Too much for a title

This is not what I planned on posting about today…but when I read this portion of today’s Daily Light, I knew I had to.

You have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

This word “heritage” keeps coming up. As does the reminder that our heritage is from the Lord…given by Him…for His glory.

Just had to point that out…now back to Daily Light…

“No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”—The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.—The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall.—He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all [good] things?

This installment of Daily Light really does weave together so many of the things the Lord has been showing me this week…my heritage, I lack nothing, His plans are the best plans…His ways the best ways, He is my provider and protector, He is good and kind.

Yesterday, it all came to a head. I was made to walk in what I had been shown.

To be honest, most of yesterday was a battle. I saw the weapons formed against me…and sometimes felt them. But praise be to God…they did not succeed.

As with most of my battles lately, this one was a battle of the mind and of the will. I wanted something that the Lord has been denying. Last night was the last straw for me…I broke and began venting to the Lord. Mid-rant He spoke, so gently,

“What you want is a good thing…but if it were good for you right now, you would have it.”

That stopped my whining and pining, cold! More importantly it, it helped focus my heart and mind where it needed to be…on the Lord and off of me. After a minute of humbled silence, I had to again say,

“No, Lord…I lack nothing.”

What I wanted yesterday was a good thing and I believe my want of it is an evidence of grace in my life. But the specificity of my want is what the Lord was taking issue with. It is one thing for me to want the will of God for my life…quite another for me to insist that He carry it out a certain way.

I can’t see the big picture. I don’t know why this thing wouldn’t be good for me now…But He does! More than that…He knows why it wouldn’t be good for anyone else connected to it. Which is another valuable reminder…it’s not always just about me. This denial could be for someone else’s benefit, as well.

It was also a good reminder to focus on what He has revealed to me, those good things He has already given, and those He has promised and instructed me to pray about.

Last night, as I was waiting for some people I met for dinner, I was reading in A Chance to Die (again). The section I was in related a period where Amy had again been praying for men to join the work. A pair of brothers had joined for a short period of time while they were training to go to China. Amy felt a leading to pray that they would stay, but dismissed it as selfish (and no doubt for fear of being disappointed). She also feared covetousness…wanting her neighbor’s (in this case China’s) manservants. A while later, she had a dream and in it, these two men were serving at Dohnavur. She wanted to dismiss it, but felt a strong urging from the Lord to pray to that end. She argued with him…again not wanting to rob another for her sake. The Lord said, essentially, “Would I ask you to do that?” She replied “no” and then began to pray. The next day, she read in her own copy of Daily Light “Blessed is she that believed for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord. (Lk 1:45)” That same day, the Lord laid it upon the heart of one of the men to stay…in short time, circumstances in China made it impossible for the other to go.

As I read this, I couldn’t help but see parallels to my life and direction for specific prayer…my own fears and hindrances in that…and direction for what needs to happen.

God has promised good things…some specific good things…and I have not believed. I have not prayed as I should. Why? Because I am too focused on myself and not on “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, [who will] also with him graciously give [me] all [good] things?” According to His will…to Accomplish His purposes…to Proclaim His glory!

Lord, help mine unbelief…help me to pray…help me to obey…help me to be thankful for the good things you have already given and not continually look for the next good thing…help me to rest in today and your provision…and help me to fight the temptation to do otherwise…to seek my refuge and protection in you and learn of your ways.