In my last post, I alluded to a "rough patch". That description is an understatement. I could spend a lot of time bemoaning all of the reasons for this "rough patch" and try to garner your sympathy and somehow justify my response, but, the truth is neither has a place here. My response was sinful, and as Mr. Spurgeon reminded me yesterday I should have nothing to do with sin.
I am thankful for this new clarity of vision and thought, because honestly, up until a week or so ago things were really muddy...and surrounded by food, mostly.
The eye-opening moment for me was one day last week when I was finishing "dinner", which consisted of: 3 pieces of fried chicken, a small mashed potatoes, a large red beans & rice, a biscuit, large french fries, and a large frosty.
Hey...I didn't title this post "Keepin' it real" for nothing!
I scarfed what could have been dinner for about 3 people down in front of the TV, then, somewhere around the middle of my frosty, I broke down crying.
"What am I doing?"
"Am I really back there again?" ("There" being how I ate before the Lord changed my eating habits in 2004.)
The answer was "yes"...and "no".
Yes, this meal was very similar to what had once been a standard dinner for me. But, prior to 2004, I never broke down after diving into the pool of gluttony with reckless abandon.
So, what changed?
In 2004, I turned a corner, or so I thought. I started this blog to chronicle the work God was doing and the victory He was working in me. At the time, I (perhaps arrogantly) thought that God would use it to encourage others who struggled with gluttony, and perhaps steer them away from solutions that do not involve repentance and dependance on Him. I, pridefully, believed that because the way God was leading me was better than, say, pills or surgery or starvation that I was guaranteed success and my story wouldn't be like all those I had previously read on-line: thin gluttons, folks who cut out half their stomach yet still sinned with food, people who looked different outwardly but were the same inwardly. I didn't want that and I was certain I would be different.
For a while, this was actually true. I was different. The fruit of change was evident in pretty much every area of my life. The discipline God wrought in me regarding food spilled over into my bible study, my prayer life, my interaction with family, how I kept my home, how I handled my finances, even my thought life. On top of all of that, over time I lost about 100 pounds.
Then, slowly, gradually, one deceptive compromise after another I found myself crying over a frosty...50 lbs heavier...and feeling like I'd undone every victory God had won for me.
But God...
(To Be Continued)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Keepin' it real...
In my last post, I alluded to a "rough patch". That description is an understatement. I could spend a lot of time bemoaning all of the reasons for this "rough patch" and try to garner your sympathy and somehow justify my response, but, the truth is neither has a place here. My response was sinful, and as Mr. Spurgeon reminded me yesterday I should have nothing to do with sin.
I am thankful for this new clarity of vision and thought, because honestly, up until a week or so ago things were really muddy...and surrounded by food, mostly.
The eye-opening moment for me was one day last week when I was finishing "dinner", which consisted of: 3 pieces of fried chicken, a small mashed potatoes, a large red beans & rice, a biscuit, large french fries, and a large frosty.
Hey...I didn't title this post "Keepin' it real" for nothing!
I scarfed what could have been dinner for about 3 people down in front of the TV, then, somewhere around the middle of my frosty, I broke down crying.
"What am I doing?"
"Am I really back there again?" ("There" being how I ate before the Lord changed my eating habits in 2004.)
The answer was "yes"...and "no".
Yes, this meal was very similar to what had once been a standard dinner for me. But, prior to 2004, I never broke down after diving into the pool of gluttony with reckless abandon.
So, what changed?
In 2004, I turned a corner, or so I thought. I started this blog to chronicle the work God was doing and the victory He was working in me. At the time, I (perhaps arrogantly) thought that God would use it to encourage others who struggled with gluttony, and perhaps steer them away from solutions that do not involve repentance and dependance on Him. I, pridefully, believed that because the way God was leading me was better than, say, pills or surgery or starvation that I was guaranteed success and my story wouldn't be like all those I had previously read on-line: thin gluttons, folks who cut out half their stomach yet still sinned with food, people who looked different outwardly but were the same inwardly. I didn't want that and I was certain I would be different.
For a while, this was actually true. I was different. The fruit of change was evident in pretty much every area of my life. The discipline God wrought in me regarding food spilled over into my bible study, my prayer life, my interaction with family, how I kept my home, how I handled my finances, even my thought life. On top of all of that, over time I lost about 100 pounds.
Then, slowly, gradually, one deceptive compromise after another I found myself crying over a frosty...50 lbs heavier...and feeling like I'd undone every victory God had won for me.
But God...
(To Be Continued)
I am thankful for this new clarity of vision and thought, because honestly, up until a week or so ago things were really muddy...and surrounded by food, mostly.
The eye-opening moment for me was one day last week when I was finishing "dinner", which consisted of: 3 pieces of fried chicken, a small mashed potatoes, a large red beans & rice, a biscuit, large french fries, and a large frosty.
Hey...I didn't title this post "Keepin' it real" for nothing!
I scarfed what could have been dinner for about 3 people down in front of the TV, then, somewhere around the middle of my frosty, I broke down crying.
"What am I doing?"
"Am I really back there again?" ("There" being how I ate before the Lord changed my eating habits in 2004.)
The answer was "yes"...and "no".
Yes, this meal was very similar to what had once been a standard dinner for me. But, prior to 2004, I never broke down after diving into the pool of gluttony with reckless abandon.
So, what changed?
In 2004, I turned a corner, or so I thought. I started this blog to chronicle the work God was doing and the victory He was working in me. At the time, I (perhaps arrogantly) thought that God would use it to encourage others who struggled with gluttony, and perhaps steer them away from solutions that do not involve repentance and dependance on Him. I, pridefully, believed that because the way God was leading me was better than, say, pills or surgery or starvation that I was guaranteed success and my story wouldn't be like all those I had previously read on-line: thin gluttons, folks who cut out half their stomach yet still sinned with food, people who looked different outwardly but were the same inwardly. I didn't want that and I was certain I would be different.
For a while, this was actually true. I was different. The fruit of change was evident in pretty much every area of my life. The discipline God wrought in me regarding food spilled over into my bible study, my prayer life, my interaction with family, how I kept my home, how I handled my finances, even my thought life. On top of all of that, over time I lost about 100 pounds.
Then, slowly, gradually, one deceptive compromise after another I found myself crying over a frosty...50 lbs heavier...and feeling like I'd undone every victory God had won for me.
But God...
(To Be Continued)
No longer silent...
“I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause.” “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”—Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.—Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.—Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you...I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy...
God is a speaking God, a pursuing God, a loving God, an active God and a victorious God. He tells us to come to Him, just as we are, and find help and healing and transformation. His promise is that we will be like Him...we will be changed from glory to glory. In Him, we can and will overcome that which is overcoming us.
This week, by His grace and the enabling of His spirit, I took him up on this promise. I stopped wallowing in hopeless silence and sinful salve that only added pain and cried out to God for help.
And, He answered...
I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. (From Daily Light)
No longer silent...
“I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause.” “Is anything too hard for the Lord?”—Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.—Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.—Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you...I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy...
God is a speaking God, a pursuing God, a loving God, an active God and a victorious God. He tells us to come to Him, just as we are, and find help and healing and transformation. His promise is that we will be like Him...we will be changed from glory to glory. In Him, we can and will overcome that which is overcoming us.
This week, by His grace and the enabling of His spirit, I took him up on this promise. I stopped wallowing in hopeless silence and sinful salve that only added pain and cried out to God for help.
And, He answered...
I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. (From Daily Light)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
"Christian, what hast thou to do with sin?"
Christian, what hast thou to do with sin? Hath it not cost thee enough already? Burnt child, wilt thou play with the fire? What! when thou hast already been between the jaws of the lion, wilt thou step a second time into his den?Hast thou not had enough of the old serpent? Did he not poison all thy veins once, and wilt thou play upon the hole of the asp, and put thy hand upon the cockatrice’s den a second time? Oh, be not so mad! so foolish!
Did sin ever yield thee real pleasure? Didst thou find solid satisfaction in it? If so, go back to thine old drudgery, and wear the chain again, if it delight thee. But inasmuch as sin did never give thee what it promised to bestow, but deluded thee with lies, be not a second time snared by the old fowler— be free, and let the remembrance of thy ancient bondage forbid thee to enter the net again!It is contrary to the designs of eternal love, which all have an eye to thy purity and holiness; therefore run not counter to the purposes of thy Lord. Another thought should restrain thee from sin. Christians can never sin cheaply; they pay a heavy price for iniquity.
Transgression destroys peace of mind, obscures fellowship with Jesus, hinders prayer, brings darkness over the soul; therefore be not the serf and bondman of sin.There is yet a higher argument: each time you “serve sin” you have “Crucified the Lord afresh, and put him to an open shame.” Can you bear that thought? Oh! if you have fallen into any special sin during this day, it may be my Master has sent this admonition this evening, to bring you back before you have backslidden very far. Turn thee to Jesus anew; he has not forgotten his love to thee; his grace is still the same. With weeping and repentance, come thou to his footstool, and thou shalt be once more received into his heart; thou shalt be set upon a rock again, and thy goings shall be established. - from Charles Spurgeon
HT: By Every Word...
"Christian, what hast thou to do with sin?"
Christian, what hast thou to do with sin? Hath it not cost thee enough already? Burnt child, wilt thou play with the fire? What! when thou hast already been between the jaws of the lion, wilt thou step a second time into his den?Hast thou not had enough of the old serpent? Did he not poison all thy veins once, and wilt thou play upon the hole of the asp, and put thy hand upon the cockatrice’s den a second time? Oh, be not so mad! so foolish!
Did sin ever yield thee real pleasure? Didst thou find solid satisfaction in it? If so, go back to thine old drudgery, and wear the chain again, if it delight thee. But inasmuch as sin did never give thee what it promised to bestow, but deluded thee with lies, be not a second time snared by the old fowler— be free, and let the remembrance of thy ancient bondage forbid thee to enter the net again!It is contrary to the designs of eternal love, which all have an eye to thy purity and holiness; therefore run not counter to the purposes of thy Lord. Another thought should restrain thee from sin. Christians can never sin cheaply; they pay a heavy price for iniquity.
Transgression destroys peace of mind, obscures fellowship with Jesus, hinders prayer, brings darkness over the soul; therefore be not the serf and bondman of sin.There is yet a higher argument: each time you “serve sin” you have “Crucified the Lord afresh, and put him to an open shame.” Can you bear that thought? Oh! if you have fallen into any special sin during this day, it may be my Master has sent this admonition this evening, to bring you back before you have backslidden very far. Turn thee to Jesus anew; he has not forgotten his love to thee; his grace is still the same. With weeping and repentance, come thou to his footstool, and thou shalt be once more received into his heart; thou shalt be set upon a rock again, and thy goings shall be established. - from Charles Spurgeon
HT: By Every Word...
What's in a name?
Yesterday, I boarded the elevator in my office building and noticed something I've never noticed before. On one of the walls of the elevator is an inspection certificate. Now, I've noticed that before, I've also noticed when the guys turn it upside down just for fun. (They really need to get out more!) But what I didn't notice prior to yesterday was the name of the man who inspected our elevator.
His name: Carlos Zimmerman.
Upon reading this name my mind was filled with several funny mental pictures...and laughter.
I pictured a tall, tan Mexican man who says "oy" and "kvetches" a lot; a short jewish man serving me the perfect plate of chimichangas and his own special recipe bean dip; and a little boy in short pants and a yarmulke with his parents Ira and Consuela.
Wherever you are today, Carlos Zimmerman, I hope you are well! Thank you for inspecting our elevator and thank you for brightening an otherwise dull Wednesday morning. Oh, and say "Hola!" to Ira and Consuelita for me, will ya? ;)
His name: Carlos Zimmerman.
Upon reading this name my mind was filled with several funny mental pictures...and laughter.
I pictured a tall, tan Mexican man who says "oy" and "kvetches" a lot; a short jewish man serving me the perfect plate of chimichangas and his own special recipe bean dip; and a little boy in short pants and a yarmulke with his parents Ira and Consuela.
Wherever you are today, Carlos Zimmerman, I hope you are well! Thank you for inspecting our elevator and thank you for brightening an otherwise dull Wednesday morning. Oh, and say "Hola!" to Ira and Consuelita for me, will ya? ;)
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